


Under the same sky

by WeAreTheWolves



Category: Overwatch (Video Game), Pharmercy - Fandom, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Board Games, Despair, Edgy, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff, Insecurities, LDR, Unexpected Twist, University, Writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreTheWolves/pseuds/WeAreTheWolves
Summary: Lexa is after a hard break up and she is grieving in her room, making her flatmate worry about her. After a long time of not doing anything, she gets the motivation to actually do something with her life. She takes her chances of going for her hobby, and it has a very unexpected outcome.





	1. No care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zephirian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephirian/gifts).

> So, this is another one of my fanfictions. I am a whipped Clexa fan, so it's not really any surprise that this is another one on that sort. I will try to post every Tuesday and I hope you will like it. :)

_No care, no care in the world, No care, no care in the world, I don't care, I don't care anymore, I don't care, I don't care… Love you in a panic because I prefer to sit on fences, spit-kissing on my sickbed, I'm not searching for replacements. But we are like broken instruments; twisted up and wheezing out the runnels. Sleepless folks watching light grow through their early morning windows…_

"You're drinking again!" tall, tanned, and muscled man opened the door and entered the room very energetically. "God, and you've done fucking hashcomore here!"

"That's my room, so I can do as I please" the girl just exhaled another thick cloud of smoke and didn't even think about turning off or just lowering the loudness of the music.

"Not exactly yours..."

"I am paying the rent to the landlord, and my recent hobbies are not devastating any land so our lord can be lording the fuck she wants. Hard rock hallelujah, Lincoln." she shrugged, still lying on the bed. She sipped from the bottle she had in her hand, without hesitation zeroed it and, with just one move of her arm, laid it on the floor with quiet bong.

"Lexa, I know you're still in grief, but don't you think that maybe you should reconsider your coping mechanisms? Like, you know, you're on straight way to alcoholism." he glanced at the glassy ocean on his roommate's floor and started moving between them to get to Lexa's desk, trying not to kick any of them. He couldn't be sure if all of them were totally empty, although it seemed to be impossible that they had been not.

"Well, the only straight I am is a straight up bitch." she took in a solid amount of vape. "And I am going anywhere anyway, mate, so either you're drinking with me..." she pointed at the crate of brewed and bottled drinks "...or just go get lost."

Lincoln glanced at the crate and then at the hand his roommate reached, waiting for him to hand her the bottle and he sighed. The only way to talk to her for the past few days (or were they weeks? He had lost the count) was to take a drink with her. And, actually, he had no qualms on drinking with her, but he was really concerned about her well-being. She was drinking for days, if she wasn't in work or university. Good for her that she had another activities, in other case she would be totally a clochard at that moment.

“You know, I was hoping you’d offer.” He sighed again and then he took the Kamikaze drink out of the crate, actually two of them, and handed her one. He wasn’t surprised, seeing Lexa tilting, opening the bottle with swift and firm slap of her hand against her night table’s edge.

The thing that was concerning him the most was actually the fact that she had been not that keen on going to university anymore, she started to get in trouble and causing them. Well, hard not to say that her grief got out of control, but not that much for her to get arrested or something like that. She was very disturbed, trying to get her shit together, and Lincoln was aware that it was too early to think about the breaking up in another categories than the ones that caused either fury or pain. But he also knew that her coping mechanisms were totally not the proper ones. Grief can be grief, but being responsible wasn't painful, especially shouldn't be for Lexa who had always been that.

He glanced at her, opening the bottle on the night table's edge, taking first gulp and he sighed. Ripped jeans, red suspenders and a bit oversized tees were always her jam, but the attitude she had...? That wasn't really her. Okay, strong and firm, snarky and sarcastic too, granted, but being that much of a laid back, cynical and not caring? Not at all.

"What's happening with you?" he ased, taking a sip of his drink.

"I don't know what are you talking about." she shrugged and made him raise his eyebrows when he saw her chugging the drink.

"Oh, i think you know very well what I am talking about." he stated, pointing at her half empty bottle. "You're going to be addicted faster than the new semester will start."

"Bullshit." she shrugged again, making another thick cloud of vape. "I don't know what is it, Lincoln, but you should just chill out. With or without me."

"I am just..."

"Dude, you're doing everything for me to think that you need to get laid." she sighed, lifting herself a bit. "Can you just give yourself a break?"

"I'm just worried." he shrugged and took a seat on the revolving chair Lexa had in her room. "I know grief is important, but is it really worth getting addicted?"

"I already am an addict, DAD." she accented the last word, making even thicker cloud of vape. "No need to worry, I can handle this."

"To be honest? Vape is okay. Alcohol? Not that much."

"Spare me the speeches, Lincoln, you're drinking too."

"But not as often."

"Touché." she snorted a laughter, taking another gulp of liquid. "But then again, don't bother. I'm fine. And, au contraire to what you're thinking, I can take care of myself. I am not even hit by the percentage."

“What was the last productive thing you did this week?” he asked, taking a sip of the brew. “Of course besides the fact that you actually started to be immune for tipsying.” His raised eyebrow was telling her that he was not amused even in the slightest.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged again and Lincoln rolled his eyes.

“Oh, come on, Lexa, it’s Wednesday, you should know what have you done since Sunday, don’t you think?”

“Okay, mom. I guess, I was on university at some point, I’ve played stuff, I kind of… I don’t know, Lincoln, for fuck’s sake! I am an adult, I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“Because what, you don’t remember or you don’t actually care, huh? When was the last time, since you have done something else than grieving, whining, staring at the ceiling or drinking? We haven’t played in ages, you’ve neglected yourself and your family…”

“Stop right there, Lincoln. You have no idea what are you talking about.” She stood up so quickly and swiftly that her roommate started to wonder if there were actually any per mills in her beverages.

“I don’t have any idea?” he crossed his arms and Lexa frowned. “When was the last time you called your sister or brother? When you’ve written something? You’ve just given up on everything you love, don’t you see that?”

“Dude, you’re starting to actually creep me out. What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re spying on me?” she raised her eyebrow, confronting him. She was tall herself, but he was taller and more muscular than her. She was in good condition, but if there was a brawl, she had more chances to lose than to actually win with him. “Because if so, then you should know that I don’t like it.”

“They’re worried about you. You stopped picking up calls so Anya started calling me. Aden is stuck at his camp right now, so he can’t really appear here. They’re worried, they all know how much Costia meant to you and how hard the breaking up was. They see that something bad is happening. And you haven’t really written anything recently and that was something that was giving you life.”

“Lincoln, with all due respect, we’re not friends for that long for you to know what is giving me life or not.” Lexa sighed, but she didn’t avert her gaze. She just wanted him to let it all go, but fighting with him, even verbally, wasn’t the easiest. She was always better backtalking, though.

“Look, we’re friends for three years by now, and we’re living together for over a year. I just learned from what I saw. And past few months were totally different. You are literally dying inside, not doing anything that was amusing before. I get it, breaking ups are very demanding and painful, but… they doesn’t mean that life is ending, you know? That’s just another chapter.”

“Get out.” Lexa was done talking with him. Actually, she was done talking to anyone.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to…”

“Get. Out.” The steel in her voice made him take a step back. She could be shorter and less sturdy than him, but her power was coming from inside. And that was the thing that Lincoln had learned as well, among a lot of things he did. _Never_ to piss her off enough to be on the verge. If he did, there was an imminent rampage in the air. And now he could feel that she was close to being on the verge.

“Okay, but please, consider what I’ve told you, okay? At least call your sister.”

“Lincoln.”

He didn’t say anything else, just took his bottle and left the room, closing the door behind him. She was left in the dark, but that didn’t really bother her. She made her way to the door, to lock them up and then she turned around, catching the first bottle that was empty and throwing it to the wall. It shattered with loud bang and the pieces just hit the floor. Lexa decided not to scream. She just wanted to break something. And the bottles were just there.

She started throwing them to the wall, and at some point Lincoln started to knock to her door. She wasn’t replying, just going full berserk, and he, at some point, just stopped. He knew that it was pointless, she wouldn’t listen to him. She was too stubborn and too proud to listen to advice, but he knew that she would finally figure something out. And that she had always been doing that.

She threw the las bottle she had in her room, after a long time of rage and she glanced at the mess she did. She took her boots off and then she made the first step. And another, and another. The shattered glass was piercing and slashing her feet, but she was still making step by step to make her way to the desk she had under the window. She sat by it, opened her laptop and she had opened the Word and she cracked her fingers and wrote the title in the beginning of the page.

**THE JUSTICE**


	2. The past

**She had left the facility and the strong sun started scorching her face. Dust and very dry air made her cough, but that was just something that she had to get used to it, to the situation that she had found herself in. She hadn’t had any choice, they just said: “You’re going to our new facility, you’re the best force of our pioneers.” So she did – that was her new chance. The organization she was alleged to was on the verge of being dead, so it wasn’t really any difference for her. She needed the change and she got the chance quite quickly. It would be foolish of her if she said “No” to the opportunity.**

**“Dr Ziegler?” she had heard the voice behind her and she turned around, hugging the folder with all the files that she had gotten on her first day in her new workplace.**

**“That’s me, and you are…?” she asked, eyeing her interlocutor that was a tall, tanned…**

* * *

“Lexa?” she had heard knocking to the door. It wasn’t a long time after she went for the rampage with bottles and sat by the laptop. Lincoln’s voice was concerned and nervous. She sighed, stopped typing. She turned her head to the door.

“What?”

“Can I get in?”

“No.” she answered firmly and in the tone that had left no doubt that she didn’t want anyone inside. Well, he could have had a problem with the fact that there was a lot of shattered glass around. And she was still feeling the pain in her feet, yet not doing anything with that, deciding to just ignore it.

“Hey, I am just worried about you, are you okay…?” he was, indeed, worried. He was so tall and muscled that most of the people that were seeing him for the first or second time, not really knowing him, were thinking that he was ruthless and emotionless, not the kind of a worrier. And yet he was, unlike Lexa herself. But he didn’t care. He just wanted her to be okay, whatever it took.

“Yes, I am, Lincoln. I try to write, what do you want? You kind of interrupt me.” She sighed, shaking her head. The long shadows were dancing on the walls as she did the motion, but she didn’t care. She had never been scared of them, she had always faced them with straight back and head held high.

“Can you at least come here and talk to me? You need to do something with yourself…”

“Dude, what did you not understand when I said »I am writing«?” she almost snapped at him, catching the bottle with liquid and filling her e-cig's tank. When she vaped again, the already misted room filled with the dragon fruit, lemon and strawberry scent. “You’re interrupting me!”

“Okay, okay, just… please.”

“Sure.” She shrugged and then she just played another stripped version of one of Halsey’s songs. The sound was so loud that she couldn’t even hear if her roommate was knocking again; she was back to the piece she was writing. Looking at the blinking cursor, she was wondering what to write next, but the moment when she was taken out of her stream of thoughts it was not the same. She smashed the desk with her fist, inhaling a huge amount of vape and changing position on her chair.

“What do I even want to write in that shit?” she mumbled to herself, revolving on the piece of furniture. “I have actually no specific idea for it.” Another cloud of vape. She was looking around, trying to find something that would give her an inspiration, but the problem was that she couldn’t. And that actually reminded her of the past. The song changed.

_And all the people say: you can't wake up, this is not a dream, you're part of a machine, you are not a human being, with your face all made up, living on a screen, low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline. I think there's a flaw in my code, these voices won't leave me alone, well my heart is gold and my hands are cold…_

She was running on gasoline for too long to give up at that moment. She had remembered all the things she had been through by that moment of her life and she knew one thing: nothing was able to break her. not again. She had to be stronger than herself before. And that was the strength that was coming from her braincells. She knew that there was always something that was keeping her going, breathing and going around: writing. And Lincoln was right, she had been neglecting it for a really long time. It was the moment in which she had to get up and fight for herself once more. Maybe one last time, who knew.

Lexa straightened on her chair and sighed, exhaling a huge, thick cloud of vape. She didn’t care that technically it was supposed to be more toxic than usual cigarettes. At least they didn’t smell that bad. She glanced at the cursor once again and sighed, reaching her hands to the keyboard.

* * *

**“I’ve heard that you have taken over the research on healing techniques. We need you on the battlefield, I hope you would agree on helping.”**

**“What’s happening?” Ziegler asked, looking at the woman that accosted her. She was older, definitely, had a long, braided silver hair, a hood on her head and eyepatch. She didn’t introduce herself, but doctor knew who she was, she was a legend — Ana Amari.**

**“We need healers.”**

**“I am off duty for a long time now, I don’t know if I would be actually of any help.” She said, glancing at her interlocutor apologetically. Amari seemed very nervous, even though she had been hiding it under the mask.**

**“There is an emergency, we don’t have the time. If you’re not to help us, I will have to go find someone else!” she started rushing when her communicator started beeping. Zeigler didn’t have much time to think about what to say. She was there because of a reason and the research in the facility wasn’t the only one of them. She was aware that missions would take place. She didn’t know that they will occur that fast, though. The fear was taking over her at some point, yet she had always had a strong sense of need to help others. She nodded firmly, not letting the fear sink in more.**

**“I will be in the gathering point in ten, is that okay?”**

**“Five, hurry up, dr Ziegler.” Amari nodded as well and then she just rushed to her duties. The doctor was thinking about what the hell happened and why they need so many healers for. The captain was a healer herself, but to be honest, if they needed Ziegler’s abilities, there was something very dangerous going on.**

**She didn’t have the time. Changing in her battle suit wasn’t that demanding, yet it wasn’t that fast. She applied all the sensors on herself and they started covering her body. She glanced to the wall of her room and she sighed. She had not been in the field in a moment, and this particular piece was not in use for even longer. She had not really known if agreeing for that was good for her, especially because she had her own non-worked out stuff from the previous place she was residing, yet she decided to at least try to shake it off.**

**They needed her. She had to help them.**

**“I guess it’s a time to go back to action.” Ziegler sighed, taking the staff in her hands, clenching her fingers on it. Caduceus, the one she was using to heal, boost and revive before the accident. And now it was back. She rushed out, trying not to dwell on anything that was actually trying to hold her back.**

**“I’ve thought you won’t show up, dr Ziegler.” Amari glanced at her when she appeared at the gathering point.**

**“To be honest, me too, captain.” She shrugged. “But let’s not talk about that, I think we have things to do.”**

* * *

Lexa smiled, looking at her work. It wasn’t really what she would have expected from herself, but it was better than nothing, so she decided to keep going with that. However, she was feeling a bit exhausted by that moment. Also, the pain in her feet started to be more feelable. With a groan, she just switched the light on and gave a glance to what she had done to herself. When she saw it, she hissed.

The skin was slashed in many places, and she had seen pieces of broken glass that got stuck in her flesh. That was a lot to take out and she was aware that she had to do it simply because she didn’t want to get any infection because that would totally end up at ER and all the questions would be inconvenient. She needed to take care of that herself. And not let Lincoln learn about that accident; well, it wasn’t the first one since they were living together, but he actually didn’t know about any of them. She preferred that to stay that way.

The first aid kit was lying in her drawer, so it was not a problem to reach for it. She was praising her instinct. The bandages, antiseptics and the tweezers should do the work.

When she was taking care of her wounds she heard her phone buzzing. One glance told her that it was, again, her sister that was calling her. Lexa sighed.

She knew that Anya had not did anything bad to her, so picking up was actually a must at some point. Lexa was avoiding that for too long. She put the tweezers aside, leaving her ankle on her thigh and she glanced at the screen again. One sigh later she decided to face the dragon and slid the screen to pick up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here it is, the next chapter. Sneak peek for Lexa's work and you all (or the majority of you) probably know what is that about, but I will say nothing further. The rest, you'll get soon. :)  
I hope you liked it!
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos you've left!
> 
> Take care, until next Tuesday!


	3. Sparring

**The bullets were flying everywhere. Whizzing was filling the air as doctor Ziegler got out of the helicopter and got surrounded by haze and shotguns. She was armed only with her gun and that wasn't super effective. She was a healer, not a soldier.**

**“Are you okay, doctor Ziegler?” Ana asked, looking at her carefully. Angela nodded, however, it wasn't a very confident move. She was on the mission. There was no place for rumination. At least not at that point.**

**“Where are we headed exactly?” she asked, glancing at her commanding officer.**

**“Anubis base.” The answer came quickly. “Our people get stuck there, there are wounded.”**

**“How many?”**

**“I don't know. But we need to keep it, so Tallon cannot win. We need your sharp skills and focus, Ziegler.”**

**“Yes, ma'am.” Angela saluted, clenching her fingers on Caduceus. Was she really prepared for that?**

**There was no place for thoughts when Amari gave the whole team a sing to follow her, of course informing them that Ziegler wasn't real combatant. They all knew that they also had to protect the healer, so she got a special unit only for her protection. She didn't really know if that was nice or slightly humiliating. **

**She wasn't really convinced if it came to the exploding or ramming methods of entering places, so the team surprised her when it came out that they didn't even play on going for that period**

**“We need to get there quietly and without risking you getting injured, doctor Ziegler .” said one of the soldiers. “Fear not, you're safe with us.”**

**Angela nodded, unable to say if she felt that way. She looked around, waiting for them to lockpick the door...**

* * *

She glanced at the clock and her eyes widened. Trying to forget that her sister just disconnected when she had finally picked up after the long time, made her forget about the whole word and sink in writing. She didn’t know what was Anya’s deal, but she was devastated that her sister didn’t pick another two calls Lexa gave her, that she decided to just throw her phone away and take care of something that was certain in her life.

“Shit.” she mumbled to herself, looking around. Writing was still too absorbing to let her multitask that much. She was five minutes away from being late to her university, and she really wanted to be there that day, especially that she had not remembered how much times she had already missed it.

She jumped off the chair, but she realized that there was still a lot of shattered glass on the floor. She should clean that mess up ASAP, but she had no time. Instead of that she jumped at her bed with a grimace of pain, and then to the other side of the room where her combats were. She put on her socks, boots, took her backpack and opened the door. Not even saying “hello” to her roommate, she just barged out the flat, praying for the pain not to kill her on the way.

*

“Ms. Woods…”

“Present.” Lexa almost rammed in the classroom and glanced at her professor, praying for no one to see the pain on her face. “I am sorry for being late.”

“I’m glad you made it, miss Woods.” Mrs. Porter smiled, even though the “finally” was in the air like a curse. “Seat down.” Lexa nodded and sat, thanking in her soul that she could give her feet a break.

“I’ve seen Raccoon posting again.” she heard from behind her. She knew this voice too well. Echo. “Glad to have you back.”

“Glad to be back, to be honest.” Lexa whispered back, looking at professor Porter. She didn’t want to get kicked out of the classroom after too much time of voluntary absence. The class had already started and the professor was talking something about creativity and stuff, and Lexa was actually kind of interested in that topic. Echo just sighed and shrugged, but both of them knew that the conversation wasn’t over yet.

*

“Ms. Woods, please, wait. I need to talk to you.” She heard Mrs. Porter’s voice when she was about to leave the classroom.

_Aw shit_, she thought, _here we go again._ She had known that she was in trouble. _I’m screwed_.

“Yes, ma’am?” she decided to face the dragon nevertheless, head up.

“I haven’t seen you in my class for some time. I’ve thought you quitted the university for good.” She said.

“Not this time.” Lexa shrugged. She liked Mrs. Porter, even more her classes. But… that time was just not hers. And if she wasn’t for explaining her absence, she might have gotten non-classified. She had felt it in her bones.

“What happened that you’ve been absent for so long?” the question was finally posed. Lexa hesitated

“I had a hard time coming to any classes.” She’d said eventually. Mrs. Porter sighed.

“I’ve always appreciated and even admired your honesty, but you need to tell me more. You know that you can have a problem here, don’t you.”

Lexa nodded, hesitating again.

“I… I’ve broken up with my longtime partner and I was psychically unable to attend classes. I’m sorry, Mrs. Porter.” She decided to go for sincerity.

“You know I’ll have to do something with those absences. And it’s either you cooperating and doing extra work, or…”

“I know, ma’am.”

“Are you writing something lately?”

“E-excuse me?” Lexa seemed surprised by that quite peculiar question.

“I’m just looking for opportunities for you to redeem your absences, Ms. Woods. Are you writing something lately?” Mrs. Porter repeated.

“Well… kind of.” The brunette blushed a little bit, trying not to look at her prof.

“Kind of?” Mrs. Porter raised her eyebrow.

“It’s a fanfiction, so it doesn’t really count as writing itself.” Lexa précised. “Nothing really high on the form.”

“Is it long?”

“No, not quite, I just started. As some sort of… therapy.”

“I see. What is it about?”

“Uh… Overwatch.” Lexa was feeling the cringe in the air, and that was all released by her.

“Pardon?” Porter glanced at her student with hesitation as if she was wondering if she understood correctly.

“The game, Overwatch, ma’am.” Lexa explained, though the teacher didn’t seem to know what was she talking about. Either way, Woods was actually quite sure that her interlocutor had a knowledge about the phenomenon of fanfiction itself.

“What it would be about in terms of the plot?”

“I didn’t really think about that, ma’am. I just… write.”

“Okay, I see.” The woman decided to stop the interrogation with Lexa getting more and more uncomfortable.

“So…?”

“I’ll think about it, okay? Let me tell you next time.”

“Oh, sure.” The brunette was a bit surprised, but she accepted. “See you soon, Mrs. Porter.” And she left the classroom. Instead of going straight to another class or at her place, as she had the habit of, she wandered to the art corner, a place that a few were visiting, to be honest.

She glanced at the piano and smiled. The theatre group was not having anything there for next several hours. She smiled a bit nostalgically, but in the exact moment she decided to approach the instrument, someone called her.

“Hey, you looser!” she turned around immediately.

Finn Collins.

“Oh, it’s only you, you uncultured swine.” She said, raising her eyebrow and feeling the itching in her palms. But he didn’t deserve that yet. She just had to wait for a moment.

“You finally pulled yourself together? Finally over your ex?”

“Not your business.” Lexa snapped. He should be more careful in that one if he wanted to keep at least half of his base amount of teeth.

“You sweet dyke. It’s a pity that your ex prefers men.” He snorted with laughter, and Lexa felt like boiling inside. He would regret…

“That’s why she didn’t pick you, boy.” She drawled.

“Get lost, Collins.” Echo’s voice echoed dangerously in the empty space.

“How is it possible that every time we meet, someone’s fortunately there to save your ass?”

“That’s because she has FRIENDS.” Echo growled. “Get. Lost. Now.”

“You’re not done with me.” He said, and then, indeed, got lost.

“In the mood for piano heartbreak songs?” The girl asked, but Lexa shrugged.

“Thanks for saving my ass.” She sighed. “Well, at least in one aspect he was right.”

“How do you feel? You know, after all that shit you’re just back like nothing happened, after almost…”

“Don’t finish that, Echo.” Lexa sighed again. “I know, I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you don’t look like »fine«”.

“I just need to keep myself back on track that's all”. She shrugged. “How about you? How are things?”

“Well I'm not complaining, everything is pretty much good. I'm worried about you, though.”

“You don't have to be worried I'm fine.” She said, sitting by the piano. “Seriously.”

“I'm not so sure, dude. You looked like you were about to beat the shit out of Finn.”

“Because I was about to.”

“Yo, I’m always in for a fight, but that's a bit too loose, don't you think?”

“What do you mean?” Lexus seemed surprised. Echo sighed.

“You're getting carried away with your emotions, Lex.”

Lexa didn’t reply, she just started pressing the keys on the piano. It wasn't random; she used to play. Echo accompanied her in silence, sitting nearby. They used to do that when they were younger.

Echo had always been a support, though not a good friend since forever. Their start was very rough and both of them remember that. But, after all, it was she who was the first to have Lexa confessing her gayness.

“I can't believe we actually stopped to do that because of your ex.” she sighed after a while.

“Well, long before, because of Charlotte...”

“Do not speak the name.” Echo drawled. “I hate her so much .”

“Now so do I.” Lexa sighed. “I... I'm sorry. For... You know. Not even contacting you. Not writing...”

“It's okay, Lex. The most important part is that you are okay and back. Even if that »okay« is just an imaginary state.” she smiled comfortingly. “what did Mrs. Porter want from you?”

“She wanted to know why I was absent for so long.”

“You told her the truth ?”

“Not directly. She doesn't know what gender my partner was.”

“I see.” Echo nodded. Lexa stopped playing and glanced at her friend.

“I don't know what to think, what to feel.” she confessed.

“It's okay, Lex. ” Echo comforted her but she didn't move closer. She had known Lexa too well to make that mistake again. “I think that I might know what you may need right now.”

“What?”

“A sparring.” Echo smiled.

***

M-fucking-MA. She had forgotten how much she had missed it. Especially sparrings with Echo. Their fights were always full serious. Never spared each other, always fighting till the last sweat drop. Both of them were ending up with black eyes, Lexa even with a broken nose once. But all of that was healthy. They weren't playing to harm or kill. That was just collateral damage.

And being back to the ring was so... refreshing.

“How do you feel?” Echo asked trying not to get hit. Lexa might not have been at her finest, but she was no less in the battle. Echo had to actually watch out and be on guard all the time.

“Great.” Lexa dodged, feeling the sweat streaming down her spine. She had told the truth about her feelings for the first time in ages.

“You mean it ?” Echo hit but Lexa managed to block and counter-attack.

“Totally.” She said, punching her opponent, finally. “Hell yeah!”

“I have to admit that even though you had a quite long break, you're still fucking good at it.” She said, rubbing her jaw that was hurting a bit because of a hit. “So, is that true? The Raccoon is back for good?”

“We’ll see.” Lexa smiled a bit, lowering her defense, but not fully. She would not want to be deceived and punched.

“Oh, come on, you've started writing again! You posted!”

“Technically. Lincoln was talking to me, and I decided to give myself one more chance. But I don't know if that actually has any sense.”

“And why the hell not?” Echo lowered her hands an glanced at her friend. “Come on, you love it.”

“Well, I did once.” Lexa shrugged and echo punched her with all her force because she lowered her arms as well.

“Bullshit. We both know why you stopped. Costia wasn't really supportive, was she.” She asked-not-really-asked. Lexa rubbed her jaw

“Jesus, I forgot how hell of a punch you have.” She groaned. “But granted, she wasn't supportive. At all.”

“That's why you stopped. And now you're back again!”

“Do I have a slight idea that you might be happy?”

“Because I am, you idiot. You're finally restarting your life. Even with your being soulless and dead inside 100% of the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked it. Thanks for all the kudos you've left!
> 
> Take care and see you next Tuesday!


	4. The piano

“Okay, what drugs are you on.” Lincoln didn't even bother to form the question. That was a statement.

“Why?” Lexa raised her eyebrow.

“You're literally juggling an onion. And I suppose you are... cooking?”

“What's weird on that, eh?” she asked quite surprised. She was used to do so. Maybe even liked it?

“It's been months since you ate something else than instant noodles, Lex. Or pizza.”

“If you're jealous, I can share .” She shrugged, cutting the onion on half.

“It's just... different than what I had been seeing for a long time before.”

“Yeah, everybody is telling me that.” Lexa shrugged and then rolled her eyes turning around with garlic in one hand and with a knife in the other. “What.”

“Nothing, it's just good to see you... kinda alive.” he said, shrugging. “I'll be in my room if you need anything.”

She didn’t. Preparing the food was actually fun but quite fast action, so she took the bowl to her bedroom and she locked herself inside. The time had come.

Looking at her phone she decided to call her sister again, but Anya wasn’t picking up as Lexa had predicted. She had the right to be mad at her, of course. Brunette sighed and she shook her head, opening the messaging app and deciding to write to her brother.

**What’s up with Anya, she’s not pickin’ calls?**

**She’s just tired of reaching out. **The answer was fast, yet rather surprising for Lexa. She raised her eyebrows and typed back.

**Dude, I am calling her.**

**I don’t know, you have to ask her, Lex. **The message was weird, like Aden wasn’t really interested in talking. Before brunette was capable of answering, another one came. **Sorry, I have to go. Training. Hang in there.**

And she knew that trying to write to him for the next couple of hours was pointless. She leaned back on her chair and she sighed heavily, again. That was predictable. She was avoiding them for too long not to have any response for that. And that felt awful, but at that point, she couldn’t do anything more but try. She was too far away from them to just sit on her bike and go there. But maybe she should start being a person that she was before Costia, maybe even before Charlotte.

She popped her backbone by straightening it and she powered her laptop.

* * *

**And there she was, inside the room, with a lot of wounded. Groans, quick breaths, closed eyes, clenched teeth and a lot of blood, that was the very first sight that Ziegler had absorbed on the Anubis Base. It was hard to say she was terrified, because it was something she was kind of familiar with, but yet something like that was always a thing that she was unable to prepare for. The suffering caused by other humans was just… not right. But she wasn’t there for moralizing or philosophical rantings. She was there to help.**

**“Dr Ziegler, do you copy?” she heard in her comm that she had in her ear. She clicked the mic button and responded.**

**“Clear. Where are you?”**

**“Helping on the field, there are some people that are not in that bad state, still capable to fight. I’ll boost them, you do you.”**

**“Aye.” Angela nodded and she sighed. Well, wasn’t that the thing she was said would happen?**

**There was no time for waiting. She scanned the room. Just a few among the people there was lightly wounded but she decided to go for them first. Caduceus was working as usual, well and effectively, so after couple of minutes at least one small shore party was able to go to the battle again. Then Angela started to look for the worst wounded. She was aware that it wasn’t the order she should do, but she had also known what Tallon was capable of. She didn’t want to risk them taking over the base. If they did, Ziegler wouldn’t have to heal anybody, more, she would be dead herself.**

*****

**“Doctor, over here!” She heard the call when she was patching one of the last people in the room. The man nodded to thank her and he took the bandage from her hands. He nodded again to give her a sign that she was needed somewhere else. She swallowed hard, smiled without conviction and then she just rushed to the place that she was called to.**

**“What happened?” she asked, seeing a huge pile of gold and blue scrap metals covered in huge amount of blood. “Who is injured?”**

**“Amari.” The one that called her, answered. Ziegler’s heart skipped a beat.**

**“Captain Ana?” she swallowed hard. If they weren’t able to carry her there, that meant her wounds were very serious. Angela started sweating, knowing that she was not prepared for going to the field just yet.**

**The soldier shook his head.**

**“Pharah, her daughter.”**

**“Where is…?” Ziegler asked, but instead of telling her, all of the soldiers pointed at the scrap metal pile. Just then Angela noticed that it was barely moving. Someone there. That was an awfully crashed armor with a person inside it.**

**“Jesus.”**

* * *

She sighed, looking skeptically at what she had written. It wasn’t the best part, but maybe it was not that bad? She had always have very crooked outlook on her work, especially written one. The pieces that people around her enjoyed, usually weren’t that much appreciated by Lexa herself. Sometimes she was sharing things, more like some arts on websites, but never a fanfiction before. Echo said that Raccoon was posting again, but the truth was that she had never posted something that was a writing. Bunch of drawings, some photos, but a written piece, never.

“What did I think to even try to do that?” she groaned to herself, loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough for the music to not let others hear her. “It’s just a pure pile of shit.”

She glanced at the text once again, but she didn’t delete anything. She straightened her back once again and decided that she needed a walk. And there was only one place where she wanted to go. Lincoln was still bunkered in his room, so she didn’t have to talk with him. Without even saying a _goodbye_, she just headed out.

*

It took her some time to get there. The temperature was decreasing and the only source of heat that she had had somewhere near was from the teacup that she had bought in the cafeteria nearby. The hallway was long but she had known where to go, so she didn’t get lost anywhere. And, finally, she reached the target.

Lexa looked around the theatre room and she approached the stage. Several steps were leading onto it and she knew that there was only one way to reach the thing she wanted to reach. With a quiet sigh, shaking her head unbelievingly, she just climbed them and then she stood by the piano. It had been years since she had done it, but that was something that she couldn’t just forget. First press to the keys and she sighed heavily, straightening her back, looking into the window. The sky was already dark but she hoped that Lincoln wouldn’t notice that she was not in their flat. After all she was an adult, she didn’t need a babysitter.

She sat by the instrument, leaving the cup of tea on it, eyeing the keyboard. She remembered, remembered so well. Charlotte had been jealous that she knew how to play all the time their so-called relationship lasted. Costia… well, it happened that Lexa discovered that her ex-girlfriend wasn’t really a fan of anything she could do well. Maybe out of jealousy, maybe not, but the fact was that: after almost three years of relationship, Lexa didn’t receive that much of support, more signs of boredom and shoving aside everything she liked to do.

“It’s over.” Lexa shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. She didn’t need them. All she needed was a peace of soul. And she couldn’t gain it, no matter how hard she was trying. Her fingers pulled the keys again, and the melody went through Lexa’s fingers itself.

_What's left to say? These prayers ain't working anymore. Every word shot down in flames. What's left to do with these broken pieces on the floor? I'm losing my voice calling on you. 'Cause I've been shaking, I've been bending backwards till I'm broke. Watching all these dreams go up in smoke. Let beauty come out of ashes, let beauty come out of ashes. And when I pray to God all I ask is: can beauty come out of ashes?_

The song was slow, and Lexa wasn’t singing too loud. She didn’t know if there was someone in the building, of course beside the janitor, but even if there was nobody, she didn’t want to be spotted.

_Can you use these tears to put out the fires in my soul? 'Cause I need you here, woah. 'Cause I've been shaking, I've been bending backwards till I'm broke. Watching all these dreams go up in smoke. Let beauty come out of ashes, let beauty come out of ashes. And when I pray to God all I ask is: can beauty come out of ashes? Can beauty come out of ashes…?_

Her phone ringing interrupted the play. She took it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. Anya.

She picked it up and before her sister decided to disconnect, she said:

“You’ve finally grown up to tell me what the fuck is going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, I hope you enjoyed it. :)
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	5. Writer's block

“Excuse me?” Anya said, and Lexa had heard that she was surprised and mad in the same time. “Look who’s talking about growing up to even pick up the call.”

“I picked it up the other day and you hung up, An.” The brunette stated, sitting with her side to the piano and looking to the window. “And when I tried to call you back you weren’t picking.”

“How does it feel to be ignored the whole time?”

“Seriously, dude? Was that revenge?” Lexa raised her eyebrow. “Very mature, congratulations.”

“Like you are mature all the time, Lex.” Anya sighed, but her sister felt that she was just feeling helpless. She could actually understand it. She had been feeling like that for the past months, day by day. “How are you?”

“Bearable.” She stated, shrugging.

“What are you doing?”

“At the moment? Playing the piano.” Lexa stated.

“You have a piano?” Anya raised her eyebrow. “Did you get the job?”

“Yeah, I am starting this weekend.” Lexa nodded, but rolled her eyes in the same time. “And no, I don’t have a piano.”

“Then how…”

“I broke in my uni, shut up.”

“Lexa!”

“What, this is the only one place I can play it, and this hour is the only one I am sure that there would be nobody here to hear it!” she hissed, trying to calm down her sister. “Don’t exaggerate, I am not stealing anything from here, for fuck’s sake.”

“I… I didn’t mean to imply it.” Anya sighed. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I always am, mom.” Lexa rolled her eyes again, looking at the keyboard. “Look, is there anything that you wanted to…?”

“How are you?”

“You have already asked about that.” Brunette’s voice was harsh and not really amused by the fact that she was tormented by that one question.

“You have not responded fully. What does »bearable« mean?”

“In Oxford Dictionary: able to be endured.” Lexa shrugged.

“Quit the smartassery.” Anya sighed. She had know that her sister was weird, but she had no idea that she could actually be so unbearable when hurt. Maybe because she had never seen her really hurt.

“Don’t ask if you don’t like the answer. I am fine.”

“I can hear you’re not.”

“Look, An, I have to go.” Lexa disconnected and she sighed, leaning her head back. She glanced at the stage’s ceiling and she shook her head. Anya wasn’t her mother, she had to stop behaving like one.

**I am worried, Lex. I won’t be sorry if that bothers you.** She received a message from her sister. **Write or call whenever you need me.**

The thing was that Lexa didn’t want to want anybody.

**I’m good on my own****. **She had typed, but after a moment of hesitation, she deleted the whole text and just locked her phone. There was no need to reply.

She had stood up and then she just sneaked out the room, not noticing that she wasn’t there alone.

* * *

**“Don't move, I'll try to take this off.” Angela stated, looking at the soldier she had to take care of. The armor was crushed almost totally, she was praying for her ability to help this poor bastard wouldn't be just wishful thinking. Especially if she knew that it was captain Amari's daughter. She didn't think that Pharah, as she was called, was not good on the battlefield.**

**Ziegler heard the groan, but then it was only the silence. She had to act fast, but it seemed not to be that easy to let her out of the armor, even less if she was alone for that.**

**“You.” she pointed at one of the soldiers. “Help me.”**

**He noded and without a single word of protest started fulfilling her orders. After a couple of minutes Pharah was freed from the scraps and, to be honest, Ziegler totally wished she didn't see her in that state. The wound was deep, going through her torso, diagonally.**

**“What happened?”**

**“Roadhog.” The one that was helping her stated. “Everything was okay until one of our people didn't get into the radius. She helped him, but Roadhog hooked her.”**

**“Sweet Jesus.” she frowned. “I won't be able to help her here. We need to transport her to the hospital.”**

**“We are unable to, at least now. Captain Amari is leading the forces, but as for now, we're stuck here.”**

**_Shit._ Angela thought. She had no idea what to do.**

* * *

“I have no idea what to write.” Lexa bumped her forehead to the top of her desk and she groaned. Writing was hard, it had always been, yet she was always finding the strength in that toughness of writing; that was always a good kick for at least trying to do anything.

This one was, though, really unpleasant to deal with. She felt that the usual word flow wasn’t as good as it was always, they weren’t coming, the ideas weren’t popping in her head. She sighed.

Anya. It was because of what happened with her sister. She almost exploded, snapped at her and then left her hanging, when it was Lexa’s fault in the first place. She was not picking up. She sighed and shook her head. _Being sorry and blaming myself for what’s done would not make me closer to writing_., she thought. And that was true. She focused on the story, she focused on her characters and took a blank page of the paper and a pen. Starting chewing it, she knew that she need very calm and quite quiet environment to be able to proceed, even with the plan. At least at that moment.

“LEXA!” she had heard the door slamming and Lincoln just entered. Did he seem excited?

“HYYARGH!” she almost flipped her desk. “WHAT.”

“I need you, I guess I am bleeding.” He stated.

And then she had heard the thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the short chapter, I had hectic week, but I hope you liked it anyway. I will totally redeem myself next week.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments you've left!
> 
> Take care, until Tuesday!


	6. New way

“What the fuck…?” she pulled up immediately from her seat and barged out of the room. Lincoln, this huge, muscular man, was lying on the floor like a rag doll, bleeding from his… something. The blood was everywhere and that pretty much disabled Lexa’s ability to say what was the cause. On the other hands, what the hell, really?

She knelt beside him and tried to wake him up.

“Lincoln? Lincoln!” nothing. “Shit.” She mumbled. She knew she was strong, but to be honest, she didn’t have the mood for carrying a meat mountain somewhere, even if it was within their 40 square meters of the flat. She opened the door to bathroom and filled the mug with water. Well, _yolo_, she thought, and splashed the liquid on Lincoln’s face. He woke up immediately, wanting to stand up, but she stopped him with her foot pressed to his chest. “No.” she stated firmly. “First of all, you have to tell me what happened, where you bleeding from and if you may or may not have a concussion. On that it will depend if stand up or lay low till the ambulance arrives.”

“You called an ambulance?” he groaned, laying his head back to the floor. Lexa rolled her eyes, pressing his chest more. Lincoln grimaced.

“Not yet, but I swear to goddess, I will have to within ten minutes if you don’t start talking.”

“Staying positive, are we?” he smiled and she sighed.

“Okay, funeral services, you got it.” She straightened her back. “So?”

* * *

“Clarke, we’re going for poks, you coming with us?” she had heard Wells’ voice when he was calling her from downstairs. He was probably with Harper at that moment, preparing for taking several raids. But she didn’t feel good enough to make the decision of going outside.

“No, thanks, I’ll pass.” She shouted back, praying for her step-siblings to actually go away without asking.

“Hey, there are some raids on Mewtwo, we could really use your army.” Harper’s voice was begging but Clarke was sure that she didn’t want to go outside. She needed the safety of her room and the warmth of her blanket, not outside noises and their talks. Especially not about HER.

_She _was the person that was in her life for the past few years and, to be honest, Clarke felt for her deeply. Trying to be the best she could, she was bumping at nothing but the thick wall of anger, pain, and spikes aimed at her. it wasn’t nice, at all, but yet she was persisting, because blonde knew that _she_ needed that. _She _needed her. And yet, after all those years, after millions of sacrifices, it ended up as it did. And they weren’t even together.

The point in all that was that Clarke was tired of all that was surrounding her. The neighborhood was reminding blonde about _her_ and she didn’t feel safe when she was walking there, not even with her siblings. She cut the leavings to the bare minimum she had to, also, she tried to stay hidden in her bedroom as long as it was possible. Harper and Wells tried, sometimes so hard, to take her out, but, to be honest, they wouldn’t have any chance to succeed, simply because Clarke didn’t have even the smallest need or want to go outside and breathe the air that was spoiled by the smell of love from everywhere.

_Maybe it’s dramatic_, she thought. “Harper, your poks are like tanks, you don’t need me, you can do this all by yourself.” She said, putting her headphones on. She was able to hear the voices, but she didn’t know what her siblings were talking about. The advantage was that she had her door locked, so even if they decided to make a riot and barge into her room, they wouldn’t be able to. After some time she just heard the main door slam and she knew that they just went out.

Clarke sighed deeply and rolled on her back in the bed. There were months since she was out without being numbed by the colors, sounds and other stimulus that the outside world had to offer. And she wasn’t keen on seeing if this time would be different. It was kind of interesting that her siblings were always asking her if she wanted to go for pokemon with them, knowing, that after all, she would be totally useless, missing the raids and hits because of the recent lack of ability to focus.

She unlocked her phone, blasting some music and she started to scroll through the internet. If she was lucky, maybe something would catch her attention.

* * *

“You did what.” Lexa glanced at his roomie when he explained the situation enough for her to decided he could get up and sit in the kitchen stool. There wasn’t any hint that he might have had a concussion, but, to be honest, she couldn’t be sure. He, however, was sure that he didn’t want to go to the ER. and he was an adult, so she just respected the decision.

“We were playing basketball and my mate just misjudged the throw.” He shrugged. “And unfortunately I tried to catch it, so I just smashed the post of the basket.”

Lexa facepalmed, shaking her head. It couldn’t be real. This guy was just… argh.

Fortunately, the bleeding he had turned out to be just a nosebleed. She gave him some ice and left him to decide where to put it, if at all. He nodded thankfully.

“You know, I don’t want to know what kind of guy you really are, Lincoln.” She stated, leaning on the kitchen top. I am okay with my psyche and I want it to be okay for some time longer.”

“Lexa…”

“No.” she shook her head, throwing him the wet cloth so he could wipe out the blood from his face fully. “I am not your mother nor your nanny. You have to take care of yourself. But if there will be an emergency and you’ll need the lift to ER, you can always call me.” She glanced at her watch. “And I am sorry, I have to go. The first day at work is not the best moment to be late, and you’re totally not worth an excuse.”

And she took her jacket, the backpack and she opened the door, then locking them from the other side, leaving her roomie in the kitchen with disbelief. Well, she had never been the kindest person alive and she was aware of that. Even though people sometimes seem to like her, so she didn’t have really anything to complain about.

A quick glance on the parking lot when she was out of the block of flats and she smiled, seeing her NC750S standing on the place she had left it, sighing with relief when she noticed that both tires were in perfect condition. She had had some situations when there were some people in the neighborhood that were actually not that friendly-looking at the motorcyclists. And they just made her tires flat not once, so she had the right to be suspicious. And she was, but that time she could just regain a chunk of the faith for people she was losing every day bit by bit.

She jumped on the saddle and before she put the helmet on, she felt her phone vibrating. She opened the notification and hissed. “Shit.”

She had forgotten to post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. I am, again, sorry for short chapters.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	7. "Emergency"

“Hi, Lexa, right?” Her new boss looked at her and she nodded, trying to actually look at least nice and not repulsive as her face always did. That was something she had hated herself for so much; she could not feel anything towards the person she was talking to, yet her face was expressing almost hatred towards everyone.

She shook his hand powerfully and smiled.

“Yes, sir.”

“I hope you remember how the store looks like?”

“Of course.” She nodded again. That was almost an insult, she had great photographical memory. And well, the board games, she had always loved them.

“In less than an hour your co-worker should show up, so you won’t be alone here. I hope you…?”

“Yes, sir.” Lexa nodded, trying not to sweat too much when she was thinking about being alone with customers. But, on the other hand, it was way better than being with someone versus them and not keeping up. That was the top of the top of the worst situations she had ever been.

“You can sweep the floor while waiting for your colleague, she’ll tell you about the procedures and all. Here, the keys to the store.” He took out the keychain with a lot of keys on it and handed it to Lexa. The brunette nodded gratefully and took it from him, putting them into her pocket. She was praying for the other worker there to actually be nice at some point and really help her at first. Then she could just fuck off, but Lexa needed the basics.

“Of course.” She smiled, taking the broom. The boss just said his goodbyes and almost evaporated. With a loud sigh, Lexa started sweeping and cleaning two desks that were there, yet she knew that it wasn’t really the time of her life. At least not the sweeping itself.

She turned on the computer and the audio system in the store, launching some music that filled the room. She sat by the desk, noticing that she had still had around twenty minutes or so, so she opened her cloud and found the file with _The Justice_.

* * *

**That was the most she could have done by that moment. Angela was trying to keep Pharah alive, partially because she had known that if she had let her die on the battlefield, captain Amari would just kill her as a useless healer she would prove herself to be. And Ziegler didn’t want that.**

**She stabilized the warrior, tossing side as much of the junk as she was able to. That junk that used to be Pharah’s Raptora suit and was useless as Ziegler herself at that point, however she was feeling that it wasn’t that bad as she thought it had been. She disinfected the wounds and made sure that Amari’s daughter didn’t have any sort of cracked or broken bones that could be dangerous to her life that wasn’t that safe anyway. She didn’t find anything, so that was only the matter of transporting her to the place that Ziegler would be able to put on her some sutures. That kind of wound her Caduceus was actually not able to put together. **

**And maybe it was just her who forgot how to use it properly…?**

**“Dr Ziegler!” she had heard the almost panicked voice of the soldier that just made his way to the area she was in. “We have new wounded!”**

**“Shite.” Angela cursed and she glanced at Pharah. She was breathing, with a bit of wheezing, but still breathing, so she asked one of the soldiers there to keep an eye on her. She nodded and moved a bit to just sit next to Amari, probably praying for her condition not to get worse. They had basic first aid training, but that didn’t mean that they were able to stabilize falling vitals.**

**Ziegler rushed to the next place she had the call from and she had found a… girl? She was looking very young, maybe somewhere around 24-26 years old. Wearing a tight suit with a huge chronal accelerator on her chest. Angela had heard about her before. Lena Oxton, aka Tracer. Her skills were impressive, yet kind of happened that didn’t work well if she landed in Ziegler’s arms at that moment.**

**A lot of blood on her face and the fact that she had been unconscious was making it look very dangerous, yet the medic was actually quite calm about that. As for what she was able to see on the very first glance, Oxton’s greatest problem at that moment might just be a concussion. Promising, especially when Ziegler had seen Pharah before. Her thoughts were going back to her all the time and she was actually very uneased about her state. But she had to take care of Tracer.**

**When she was checking her vitals, Oxton regained her consciousness. She blinked several times, trying to zoom and see what was happening. The sudden movement of her body told Angela that she would probably want to just defend herself, still thinking she was on the battlefield, so the medic just held her still.**

**“You’re fine. This is a safe space.” She stated, looking at her with a comforting smile and soft gaze. Tracer swallowed hard and then she nodded slowly. Angela smiled back. “How are you feeling?”**

**“A bit dizzy.” The woman said with a strong British accent. “Where am I?”**

**“Anubis Base.” Ziegler stated, looking at the cut on Tracer’s forehead. “Can I take these off? I have to make sure if…”**

**“I’m fine.” Oxton said, but she took her glasses off, so Angela could actually check on her eyes and skin if the cracks that were on the material didn’t drop any glass or plastic. Fortunately, she was clean. “I had seen Pharah… is she… is she here?”**

**Angela’s face turned unreadable immediately. Tracer noticed that even if the only answer the medic gave her was the nod of her head.**

**“Is she…?” the tone in which she had asked was actually implying that she was asking about Pharah’s corpse than her living self, so that was the nice moment when Ziegler could actually tell her something good.**

**“When I was last checking on her, she was alive. If you feel like walking, we can move to that area, so I can keep an eye on both of you.”**

**“She’s alive? Good Lord, I was thinking the Roadhog would just murder her at once.” Oxton sighed. “I’m glad you were able to help her. I have never seen you before, what’s your name?”**

**“Angela Ziegler.” She stated, helping Tracer to stand up and walk. She realized that she was limping. “What happened to your leg?”**

**“Something cracked in my knee, but that’s not my biggest concern if I just lost my consciousness, wasn’t it?” she smiled and Ziegler rolled her eyes. If there was something she didn’t like, the unaware and dismissive patients. And Tracer seemed like one. **

**“Well, everything is important and concerning.” She shrugged, crossing the hall.**

**“Oh, dear, you’re one of those grumpy docs that are always complaining about their patients not being careful enough, aren’t you?” Lena didn’t seem to actually be concerned about that, but Ziegler couldn’t be sure. From what she had heard, that person was actually a nice one, very cheerful.**

**And this British accent.**

**“No, I am actually the person that really cares about her patients and I really appreciate if you just tell me what’s wrong, so I won’t miss anything, that’s all. Don’t be mad at me because of that, though, you’re Overwatch… or were, I don’t know, you need to be in the best shape possible.”**

**“True that.” Oxton nodded, letting Ziegler help her sit on one of the stone benches that were near Pharah. “Oh my God, she looks awful.”**

**“But she’s stable at least.” Angela sighed. “I am just waiting for us to be able to move from here so we can just transport her to the facility she needs.”**

**“Wait a second, aren’t you a healer? If you can’t heal her right away, you can go to the field and not die transporting her, right? I mean, you do have a basic combat training, don’t you? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”**

**Ziegler stiffened and swallowed hard. She had not been on the field since… then. And she didn’t want to talk about that. The silence was very uncomfortable and Tracer realized that she had said something that could be taken as untactful, even though she had no right to know about Angela’s past. She had seen her for the first time in her life.**

**“I… I am sorry.” She stated and Ziegler shook her head, checking Pharah’s vitals.**

**“DOC, WE HAVE A LITTLE TIME, BUT WE CAN TRANSPORT HER!” they had heard a soldier that just barged in. “But you’ll have to do that on your own.”**

**Angela set her teeth and Tracer had seen it. She had no idea what was happening in the med’s head, but it seemed like a struggle.**

**“I can help you, doc.” She smiled. Ziegler sighed deeply. That was, at least, feeling safer.**

* * *

Lexa posted the text when she heard her phone buzzing and she saw the first person in the store that day. The woman didn’t look like a worker, she looked like a customer. A quick glance on her screen and brunette had known what happened.

**Lexa, there was an emergency and you’ll be alone in the store for the first half of the shift. Don’t worry about anything, you’ll do great.**

She swallowed hard. _Shit_, she thought, _I am screwed up_.

What kind of boss did she have?

“Hi, is there something I can help you with?” she asked, standing up from her computer and looking at the customer. She had to face the devil, but who could if not her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Lexa being Lexa and having Lexa's luck. Totally predictable, wasn't it? I am so sorry for taking so long to thrive the story.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos you're leaving!
> 
> Take care and till Tuesday!


	8. First encounter

The time she had spent alone in the store was getting longer and longer. The customers were flowing, coming in and out, and Lexa wasn’t really sure if she was handling them good, but at least she was certain that was the best way she was able to do so. Hours were passing and she was talking about all the board games she had in the store, giving advice and trying to make people at least a bit more certain that the game they were about to buy had been the one that was suiting their needs the most.

“So, I am looking for expansions…” the customer glanced at Lexa carefully, like if she was looking unreliable, but, to be honest, even with her alternative look she was fitting into the store.

“Yeah, the big ones or the smaller?” she asked, glancing at the girl that was standing right in front of her. She had a really nice, deep grey eyes.

“In terms of the insides…?”

“The big ones have the board included, additional part to the one you already have in the basic Arkham Horror.” Lexa said, showing the box that was standing right behind her on the exhibition. “So, currently available, we have two big expansions, Dunwich, and Innsmouth Horrors. The smaller ones mainly have cards, tokens and new mechanics that are brought to the game with the expansion.”

“And that one?” The girl pointed at the other big box Lexa had in the showcase. The brunette smiled.

“Miskatonic is the expansion worth buying when you have other expansions; it’s mainly the addition to them.” She stated. “How many of expansions do you have?”

“Any.” The girl sighed, taking out her phone. “My brother wanted to buy a big one, but…”

“My personal experience, for now, include Kingsport, and Innsmouth Horrors. In terms of what we have, well, Innsmouth, is actually quite pleasant, if we can say something like that when we’re playing game such as Arkham Horror.” She glanced at her interlocutor and the girl snorted a laughter. She nodded but remained silent, so Lexa just decided to continue. “You have new city that you can travel to by train from Arkham, two new tracks, new monsters, aquatic areas that weren’t there earlier. New other worlds and a load of other stuff that is enhancing the gameplay. And also is making it a bit harder.”

“Even more?”

“Well, Arkham Horror wasn’t actually invented to be easy, I guess.” Lexa smiled and the girl nodded. “But still, if you started already and you know how to play, I think that this expansion would be actually a nice one.”

“You seem like a fan.”

“Kind of am.” Lexa nodded. “Lovecraft is my jam for a long time, also, the Arkham Horror game is a love of my life.” she smiled widely. “So?”

“Okay, let it Innsmouth be, then.” The customer nodded, so did the seller.

After a while the gal was out and Lexa sat behind the counter and glanced at her phone. No message, no call, nothing. Actually, that was pretty nice. She didn’t really want anybody to interrupt her work at that moment. And she was still thinking how to carry the plot in her work.

She couldn’t even plan anything, when she heard the bell on the door and she raised her head up to see exactly the same girl that left just a while ago.

“Everything’s okay?” she asked, immediately stressed out that she had done some sort of mistake and that her service wasn’t sufficient. The customer nodded.

“I thought, since you know so much about that game, would you maybe want to come around to play with us? Like, seriously, we can use one more player, I don’t really have the experience and my brother is not that keen on explaining… you can take someone with you?”

“Are you sure?” Lexa raised her eyebrow and she noticed that the girl had eyed her immediately. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically. She left the piece of paper on the counter and she turned around.

“If you’re not decided you can always think about that for a little while.” She stated. “And then just text me. I am always available.”

And she left.

_What the hell was that?_ Lexa thought, looking at the door, at the card and the door again. Besides the number, there was also a name. Octavia.

* * *

“Clarke, you coming?” The blonde had heard her brother’s voice calling her downstairs. She didn’t want to, but she was aware that every moment she decided to refuse was actually going to be a very unpleasant bomb of a reunion after all the time she had dismissed her family. And she knew that she didn’t want to have problems. Not more than she had already had.

“Give me a minute and I’ll be right there.” She sighed, glancing at her phone. It was clearly the lunchtime and she needed to join her family to actually avoid comments or questions that she didn’t want to face. A long stretch left her body in numbness for a moment but then she just sighed and forced herself out of the bed. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life there, even though she would totally want to. One more look at the screen again and she realized that she must have fallen asleep reading one of the fanfictions in the web. She groaned, trying not to beat herself mentally because of that and then she just decided to put on some shirt and pants and then just go downstairs.

What bad could happen?

She scrolled the page when she was ready and the one title caught her attention. She raised her eyebrow and just opened it in another tab.

“CLARKE!” Harper’s voice wasn’t amused.

“COMING!” neither was Clarke’s.

Well, apparently _The Justice_ would have to wait for her. Luckily, the work wasn’t going anywhere.

* * *

* * *

**“I can carry her, but I have no idea how it would work. I haven’t transported anyone, ever. Not in my flashes.” Tracer stated when Ziegler tried not to die out of her heartbeat and blood pressure just deciding to go erratic as hell. “Are you okay, luv?”**

**“Y-yes.” Angela swallowed hard, trying not to pass out right there. She knew that flashes from the battlefield before would be back, but she didn’t know they’d be so vivid and almost palpable. She’d prefer just stay in one place and wait for the rest of soldiers to move Pharah… but she knew there was no time. She had done what she could, but Amari’s daughter was in bad state and Ziegler was aware that the sooner they’d transport her, the better for Pharah’s health. That could be even crucial for her treatment and Angela didn’t want to risk the soldier’s life. Raptora suit was huge and almost panzer, yet Pharah herself was not that huge. Okay, she was fit and totally had condition… but it was not in the _Primum non nocere_ rule if Ziegler just decided not to take her chance.**

**However, there was always this one rule that the medic should not try to help anybody if she is, herself, in any kind of danger. Well, Ziegler had the experience in just dismissing that kind of rules, so, at that moment, she had even some sort of PTSD.**

**But the call to help was even more urgent than the call to hide and wait. She needed the woman to be alive by the end of the day. And she had seen her injuries. She NEEDED help ASAP.**

**Angela sighed and she swallowed even harder, looking at Tracer with fear in her eyes, trying to unsuccessfully hide it. She wasn’t okay, not at all, but at that moment it wasn’t about her. It was about Pharah.**

**“You have to transport her quickly. I will try to follow, but I am not promising I will be right behind you, okay?” she asked and Oxton nodded, taking Pharah on her shoulders. **

**“You better be there as soon as it’s possible, I don’t know how she will hang on when we reach the hospital.” She stated and Ziegler sighed.**

**“Let’s just hope that there will be no need to actually put her parts together.”**

**“Good luck, Angela.”**

**“Success, Tracer.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments you've left. I appreciate everything, every voice, every click you're leaving here. Thanks!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	9. Not so good place

Lexa was staring at the blinking cursor, trying to focus, but she was unable to. She had good days, and the bad ones if it came to writing, but that moment was beyond description. She couldn't even zoom properly, and that was actually really annoying. Carrying on the history of Mercy, for the very first time, appeared to her as pointless. She knew that giving up on that early stage of the story was not really reasonable, yet she didn't feel like writing it. Especially when she was seeing that not much people were reading it.

"In that moment it would be weird if there was a lot of people." she sighed, shaking her head. The reasons and logic were fighting inside her head with feelings and laziness, but she was aware that she had to decide. And as many times as she tried to actually just stop writing, quit it for good and not even look at that again, she couldn't. She could delete all the files, all the stuff she had ever written and the point was that she always had the backup. And the raging will to write, always. Even if she was too lazy to do that, actually. "Argh."

It wasn't a very convincing sound, but she wasn't convinced if she wanted to groan or maybe more like whine at that moment. And even that wasn't very convincing. Not for herself.

Her head bumped the desk with loud thud. She was helpless, trying not to just slumber into the darkness and stay there forever.

She started doing something and she knew that she obliged herself to do that. She commited herself to make the story, deliver it to the people out there who wanted to actually read it. And there were some, especially when she was seeing that they were leaving kudos there from time to time. And at that moment she just felt like giving up?

"I don't think so." she snarled at herself, but even the snarl wasn't that convincing.

She felt her phone buzzing and she glanced at the screen. Echo sent her a message.

**You gonna be in class?** She was asking and Lexa glanced at her watch. It was already 8:40 and her classes were starting at 9. Lexa was screwed.

**Yes.** She typed back, shutting her laptop and cursing herself because of the negligence. She caught her backpack and on the way to the hall she just put on the sneakers. No time for combats, she needed to run, even if her feet weren't totally healed yet.

* * *

* * *

**Tracer jumped with Pharah, but inside the building. The solution was the most understandable, if anything would happen, Mercy would be there to actually help her. First jump happened to be the lucky one, both, Tracer and Pharah, were good. Then Tracer jumped again, to control the attempt, and she succeeded again. She had glanced at her companion and both of them nodded. There was no time for waiting, minute after minute the situation, and Pharah’s state was going down. Mercy had to let Oxton do her job.**

* * *

Lexa sighed, taking her ballpen out of the card she was writing on. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, seeing that she didn’t write much, also, she was feeling exhausted. Trying to listen to her professor at that moment seemed quite pointless. At least for her.

She had felt the soft punch. Her head turned right and she saw Echo poking her.

Lexa didn’t say a word, she had just shrugged when she got asking look from her friend. Echo looked concerned and the fact that brunette waved her hand didn’t make her feel better. She was trying to catch Lexa’s attention, but she was actually failing miserably. Lexa didn’t seem to actually be interested in the attempts to lure her attention. She was almost lying on the desk, trying not to start scratching herself or pierce her hands with the ballpen that she had in possession. It was actually quite pointy and could do a good amount of harm if used correctly, so to speak. And she was feeling so down and so helpless because of the piece of writing she was on but unable to finish. That was like a slap in her face and she didn’t like it, at all. That was actually something making her feel bad. Really bad.

At some point, Echo tried to get Lexa’s attention again, but before she did anything, Lexa just stood up and left the place in the middle of the lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for not giving you much this week.
> 
> Take care, until Tuesday.


	10. Need for mana

She had been sitting by her desk, trying to actually write something. She was feeling like a waste and the papers that were piling on her desk were just awful. A load of notes that were giving her nothing, not a single idea whatsoever. She had known that writer’s block was a bitch, but it was way beyond the standard she was actually used to have. It was always so easy and nice when she was writing some stuff she didn’t need to put out there and at that moment… all Lexa wanted to do was just shoot herself in the head and splash her already hurting brain on her walls. That was all she was feeling at that moment.

“There is no way I’d write something more than that shit I’ve already written.” She groaned, slapping her forehead into the desktop. “I need alcohol.”

Lexa stood up and glanced at her phone. There was nothing there, not a single notification. Echo was silent, so she knew that brunette’s barging out of the lecture was either because of her emotions of just because she got pissed. If Echo was concerned about Lexa’s health, she would have written to her several times by that moment.

The so-called writer stretched a bit and then she tried to smile, but she was unable to. The whole situation was too much for her, she had felt like crap when she had realized that she needed booze simply because she was unable to actually write. She was aware that it wasn’t a really good and legitimate coping mechanism, but at that point she had been so devastated that she didn’t care. All she had cared about was her way to someplace that was serving drinks. Or stronger alcohols, without any other liquid inside.

She took her keys and put on her leather jacket right after lacing her combats. Checked all the pockets if she had everything with her and then, sighing, she shut her laptop and opened the door to her room.

“You’re going out?” Lexa heard Lincoln’s voice. He was sitting in his room, behind the closed doors and he was probably playing something on his PC. She sighed and glanced at the surface that was dividing them.

“Yeah.”

“Where do you go?”

“Why do you need to know? What, are you writing a book?” she raised her eyebrow, trying not to scowl herself inside _Unlike you._, shoving her keys into her pocket. Baggy, man pants were actually something that she was praising for more than three-quarters of her life.

“I am just asking.” He sounded like shrugging. “I may be just concerned that lately you’re out of the flat kind of a lot. And you haven’t been before.”

“You’re not my mother, Lincoln.” Lexa sighed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t have to confess where I am going. You should just be happy that I am leaving the whole flat for you and don’t poke you around.”

“It’s somehow concerning, still.” He said, and she had heard clicking. He probably was playing some shooter. One wave of her hand later and she was closing the door behind her, wondering where she should go. There were a lot of bars in the city, but she wasn’t really keen on going to places that were known of people that were staying there all nights. She needed a bar that was actually nice, cozy and somehow calm?

“That is fucking impossible.” She groaned again, just going straight forward. She had decided that she would find something on the go, without planning. And maybe before she would just get lost.

* * *

The night was falling and Clarke had finally gotten to her bed. She felt kind of good during that day, even though she wasn’t really keen on making any sort of interaction with other people. She made her way through her room and she laid down on her bed, sighing heavily. Her siblings didn’t let her get away from three rounds of Catan, and she was exhausted. And, of course, she had lost every try to rule. Wells was the one who dominated.

She took her phone, getting under the cover. The warmth spread all over her when she smiled weakly and glanced at the screen. She unblocked it and opened her browser. She had something to read, the overlay was making her think that this story might have been worth a shot. And she wanted to check out the peculiarities in the text that she had seen at first glance. They were interesting enough not to scroll past the text itself.

Clarke glanced once again at the tags and title and she smiled. Well, since she didn’t feel like sleeping anyway, she decided to just give it a try. So she scrolled past the title and stopped on the first chapter of _The Justice_.

* * *

Lexa got lost at some point of her walk but she didn’t seem to actually be unamused by that fact. The streets she was walking at the moment were unknown for her and she was feeling like in other city, at least a bit. She didn’t have the problem with getting lost, her imagination was vivid and she was counting maybe on the inspiration to just come and knock to her brain, but there was nothing like that. She was as alone as she was before she decided to go for that raid.

A deep, heavy sigh had left her lips when she shook her head making several steps ahead, turning into a dimly lighted street to the left. Looking around didn’t tell her anything, but there was one building that had caught her attention. It was looking like something that could be entered, so she just approached and it was confirmed. She smiled a bit, approaching and reading a sign that was looking like an old one, but Lexa knew that was only an illusion. That place couldn’t have more than a few months. She would have known about its existence if it was older.

She walked past the sign and she opened the door of The Deep One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still so sorry for the short content here, but this time is hectic for me. Anyway, I hope you liked it.
> 
> I hate Christmas, but I know that not everyone is like me, so, merry xmas to you all, and I guess we'll see each other on the New Year's Eve. :)
> 
> Take care! :)


	11. The Deep One

The dim lights were the very first thing she had encountered as she entered the bar. Looking around wasn’t that easy, simply because the walls were deep green, dark. Not wide hall was leading inside, straight to the bar. There was no one in the quite big local, but Lexa didn’t mind. Maybe it was not so early in terms of opening hours. She glanced at her watch and she sighed. Around 19 there should be at least some people if the bar was worth visiting. And there was nobody.

She approached the bartender anyway when the woman just disappeared on the backroom for a moment, Lexa took a seat on the hoker. The whole local was kept in quite deep colors, the stone panels were greenish, the wooden accents were dark, mahogany. She leaned on her elbows, looking at the wall full of alcohol and smiled a bit. There were glass shelves with deep green and blue lights that were imitating sea color. Music wasn’t loud but it was making a good ambient. Lovecraftian one, and Lexa appreciated.

Waiting for the bartender to be back, she gave a look around, noticing that there was actually a huge shelf with board games. Seriously, board games bar in the middle of the town and nobody was there? What was wrong with this local? Were the employees poisoning the customers…?

“Good evening, how can I help you?” The bartender was back and Lexa could give her a closer look. She was dressed in a white shirt with rolled sleeves, black vest with embroidered green tentacles, and a fedora. On her neck, there was one chain that was implying she was wearing the dog tags, but what was visible was some sort of amulet with something that looked like a winch. Lexa glanced at the menu.

“Hasturmunchen, please.” She stated, looking at the woman. She nodded, and backed off, taking the alcohol from the shelf. Lexa was able to oogle the bartender while she was preparing the drink. Young, somewhere around 24-25 years old. Short hair was standing on the gel, and the fedora was keeping up with her image. She had her head’s sides shaved, there was also a lot of rings in her ears. Two in the lower lip were hard not to notice. Rolled sleeves were uncovering her forearms, heavily tattooed. Her left arm was quite mesmerizing when Lexa was watching her making the beverage. Bunch of quotes written with a fancy font, scattered on her skin, yet in order not to be mixed. The brunette got grounded at the moment the drink was standing in front of her.

“Why drinking alone?” The bartender smiled a bit when Lexa took the drink closer. She glanced at the person that was asking, not really knowing if she wanted to bore her with the answer. The bartender had probably seen it, since she smirked and leaned towards, resting her forearms on the bartop. “Come on, I am the bartender, I am the only confession room that is giving people alcohol.”

Lexa couldn’t not agree with that.

“It’s just… I have a writer’s block.” She shrugged, looking at the orange pieces on her glass. She glanced at the bartender again and she asked: “Don’t you have straws?”

“If you prefer to drink through it, I can get you one.” The woman smiled and took a small box from somewhere near the sink. Lexa’s eyes widened when she got the box so she could open it herself. There was a reusable metal straw inside. The brunette took it out and unfolded, making a whole. “I hope you can enjoy it better now.”

“Thanks.” She nodded, smiling and sliding the straw into the drink. “I have never heard of that place before.”

“We’re quite new here.” The bartender shrugged, polishing a glass. “Opened not much than a month ago, so we are still starting.”

“You have that bad of a PR?” Lexa raised her eyebrow. “The interior couldn’t be the problem, it’s specific but climatic and I really like it… it’s really Lovecraftian.”

“You think that the place took its name because we don’t value Lovecraft’s writing?” she smirked and Lexa felt the shiver running down her spine. There was something in the bartender that couldn’t let her stop looking at her. “We’re both fans.”

“Both?”

“Me and my wife.” The bartender smiled and Lexa had finally got the idea why that woman had only one of her fingers tattooed in her left hand. She had a wedding band there.

“Oh, that’s great. I am a big fan of Lovecraft myself.” Lexa smiled, and then she looked at her glass. “So, if it’s not ambient, let me try the drink.” She sipped from her glass and she swallowed with surprise. “Oh shit, that…” she started coughing. “That’s strong. I mean…” she hesitated, seeing the bartender’s amused face. “I mean, you know, it’s great, really, but it’s not common here to have a drink of that strength.”

“Well, maybe because I am not from here.” She smiled, finishing polishing the glass and putting it under the counter.

“You’re not?”

“People are telling me that my mother tongue sounds like I was trying to summon the Ancient Ones.” She shrugged, and Lexa glanced at her without understanding. “But well, we’re not here to talk about me.”

“Okay, I don’t get it, sorry.” Lexa shook her head, looking at her interlocutor. “The place is great, the drinks are outstanding, and yet… there are no people there. Why?”

“Because it’s…” the bartender glanced at her watch. “…still half an hour till opening.”

“Wha-” the brunette glanced at her and she blushed hard. “Why the door is open then?”

“Because this isn’t Chile and I supposed people here could read. Well, it was true… until now.” She smirked, looking at the customer that blushed even harder.

“Shouldn’t you be a bit nicer…?”

“You’re still here.” She snorted laughter, bumping the lower counter with her hip.

“What’s your name?” Lexa asked suddenly but the bartender didn’t seem to be surprised. She glanced at her enigmatically, touched the brim of her fedora and said:

“People usually call me Vault.”

“Vault…?” the brunette raised her eyebrows, sipping another gulp from her drink.

“Don’t ask. Take it, or leave it.”

“Lexa.” She reached her hand to the bartender and Vault shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Vault nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it. It's been hell of a year for me, but it's always better when I have people I can publish for. Thanks for being here.
> 
> Happy New Year!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!
> 
> PS. I really love Chile, please, don't get offended. XD


	12. The advice

“What do you have to offer besides the drinks and ambience?” Lexa glanced at Vault, trying to read her, but she was unable to. The bartender was mysterious like the ambience of the bar, and the brunette liked it. She was waiting for the answer, sipping her drink.

“Well, as you can see, board games.” She stated, pointing with her hand to the huge bookshelf behind her. She started looking through the alcohol to see if there was a need for replacing any bottle with a fresh one. “Every Friday we’re hosting the board game night. Even though there is not really long history of them, they seem to be quite popular.”

“I work in the game store.” The brunette said, catching Vault’s attention. The bartender glanced at her with curiosity and nodded, giving her a sign to continue. “If you want to, I can talk to my boss, maybe you can barter. You know, we will advertise you and you’ll be buying the board games from us?”

“I’ll think about it.” She nodded, and suddenly her face lightened. “Here is my Tea Rex.” She smiled widely and Lexa turned around to see a short and very pretty woman. She had glasses, long black hair, and very mesmerizing eyes.

“Hi.” She smiled, nodding and then she eyed Lexa. “Did you change the opening hours or…?”

“Not at all.” Vault shook her head and then pointed at the customer. “But if she’s paying, I can open even at noon.”

“Still looking for an opportunity to drink with customers?” the woman sighed, shaking her head. Lexa sipped again from her drink and she smiled. It was so obvious that the two women were in love with each other. And she was still alone, having severe writer’s block. Life wasn’t fair. Three sips after she realized that she had run out of her drink. She slid the glass to Vault, looking into the menu. There was no other way to either regain the inspiration by finding one on the bottom of a glass or just forgetting about that shameful shit of block by hammering herself.

“Give me Call of Cthulhu, please.”

“Just a call?” the bartender smiled and Lexa glanced at the card.

“Or maybe awakening, you’re right.” She nodded, then sighed. _Nobody reads that shit anyway._

* * *

Clarke tried to scroll down and there was nothing. The fanfiction was just ending somewhere there, without any note of possible delays, or anything that would imply that it wasn’t just a piece written and then just left aside. It would be a shame but that might have been true. Anyway, true or not, she had felt the urge to know what was next. Would Tracer succeed? Would Mercy overcome her fear, and, maybe the most important thing, would Pharah live to tell her story?

“Argh.” She grunted, tossing her phone on the bed she was lying on. It looked like she just read the piece on the day of publishing, but the last chapter was from the week before. So either there wouldn’t be anything, or she had to wait for it.

With frustration, she took the sketchbook that was lying on her night table and the pencil that she had attached to it. Not five minutes later she started to have the first sketch of Mercy in the Anubis base, finding Pharah as a pile of scrap metals. Clarke was focused, her tongue stuck out when she tried to give her idea of the situation to the paper. She didn’t notice that there was a notification about another chapter.

* * *

People started gathering around, and there was a lot of them by the bar. Lexa noticed that however, the line was waiting, and it contained a lot of people, they weren’t staying by the bar directly. None of them came alone, they were coming in groups and Vault had a lot of work. At some point, her wife came back from the backroom, and she went inside the bar, so she was there, taking care of all the people. And bringing stuff to Vault herself.

Brunette, after the third drink, was a bit tipsy already, but that was the moment when she realized that it should be the day that she was planning on publishing the next part of her fanfiction. And she was the type of person that was more on the line of _do it or die trying_, so she took out her phone, opened dropbox and browsed the file with The Justice. She glanced at the latest part she had aired, and then she sighed, knocking at the bar top. Vault approached since the line wasn’t there anymore, and Lexa didn’t look hammered yet.

“Next round?” she asked, and the brunette nodded, smiling to her.

“I think I should take the King in Yellow.”

“One King in Yellow coming right up then.” The bartender started preparing the drink when Lexa opened the file on her phone and sighed, frowning. What the hell was she supposed to write?

* * *

**Tracer disappeared and Mercy was praying for them to be in one piece and safe. They didn’t have any time to try teleporting in the go, Angela needed to take care of Pharah as soon as it was possible and that meant they needed the helicopter and hospital. Ziegler got on comms, trying to call her skipper.**

**“Captain Amari, do you copy?”**

**“What’s your status, Ziegler?” the answer was immediate.**

**“We have critically wounded here.” She was sure that it was only one person, and that was Pharah. She had checked the rest of them. “We need to transport her to the hospital ASAP. Will you make it on your own before the reinforcements come?”**

**“They’re on their way.”**

**“Do they have healers?”**

**“Two, at least.” Mercy heard nod in Ana’s voice, and she contained the sigh with relief. She wouldn’t be needed there then. “You can go, take care of my people.”**

**“Aye, captain.” Ziegler wanted to get out of there, but Amari had one more question.**

**“Dr. Ziegler, who is that? Do you know his name?”**

**“It’s Pharah, ma’am. I need to go. Ziegler over and out.” And she sighed heavily, knowing that she would have to actually take her ass on the battlefield, go after Tracer and make sure all three of them safely make their way to the helicopter and hospital.**

**She straightened her back and her wings spread. Caduceus started pulsating with light and Mercy was ready to go. She couldn’t let herself think about what might come, she needed to get out there before her thoughts would make this action impossible for her.**

**Charging outside, she realized that the situation was a bit more in control. There weren’t bullets everywhere, but still she had to be quick. She ran in the direction the map was showing her, praying not to meet any wounded people. Her instincts would need her to help them, and, however wrong and selfish, and non-humanitarian it might have sounded, Pharah needed her help more than any of those people.**

**She got into the closest building, and then she made her way to the landing zone. The helicopter was already there. There was, though, another problem.**

**Tracer wasn’t there.**

* * *

Lexa sighed, thanking Vault for the drink, and paying for it. She knew that the piece she had written wasn’t the best one she could have done, but yet she knew that it was better than what she had written before when she had the breakdown during the lecture. Carrying on with Pharah and Mercy’s story, however, seemed quite pointless for her at that moment. She was seeing, somehow, that there was, actually, a problem that she always had. She had been giving the story a lot of fillers, because she wasn’t really sure what to write, and, then, she had a deadline that she had to publish at. How that could do any good to her or her story?

“You okay?” Vault asked, putting a lot of dirty glasses into the washing machine, after taking the first load out. She started polishing the glasses since she had a moment of break after taking some student IDs in exchange for some board games.

“Yeah, kind of.” Lexa nodded, looking at her screen, locking it and putting her phone down on the bar top. Vault’s wary sight kept on drilling her, so she sighed again and shook her head. “It’s just still the block.”

“Well, there are two ways out of that, Lexa.” The bartender leaned on the lower counter and smiled a bit. “Either you let it consume you, or you fight it.”

“How do I fight it?”

“Well, you had already done it.” She pointed at Lexa’s phone with her chin. “I am sorry, I wasn’t really looking what you were doing, I just saw the Word opened. Sorry for assuming if I am wrong.”

“No, you’re not, I… I kinda did.” Lexa nodded and Vault smiled.

“That means that you’ve already decided to fight. And now I can see that you’re fighting with the urge to delete it. When do you have the deadline, eh?”

“Uh?” the brunette seemed surprised. She had never told the bartender that there was any deadline at all.

“You wouldn’t be in such a rush if this didn’t have a deadline. When is it? Tomorrow? Today?”

“Today.” Lexa sighed and nodded, wondering if she was so easy to be read, or was it just the bartender that seemed to know more than she was showing.

“Post it.”

“But…”

“Look, I can tell you for sure that there is no piece of writing that the writer likes if it’s their own, okay?” she smiled tenderly and Lexa felt comfortable and safe with her. Like a partner to talk to about those kinds of things. Maybe it was right to assume that all bartenders are some sort of advisors that are allowed to give their customers the alcohol. “The point is not to give up on that, and don’t care.”

“How can I not care if there are people that are reading it, and…”

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know you that much, but you actually look like someone that has the problem with submitting to the thought that there is someone reading your work.”

And that was shot in the bull’s eye. Lexa swallowed hard, wondering how the bartender knew.

“Look, I know it’s hard, but sometimes you have to think wider. When you are publishing your work, you need to know that there is actually the person that is sitting on the other side of the internet, who, at some point, will finally click on the link and open your work. Commenting or not, they’re there. You are not writing for yourself, and believe me, not all readers are douchebags. They are supportive. But they have to have content to be supportive to its creator, you know?” she smiled and Lexa nodded. She took a sip from her glass and glanced at the bartender that started stowing her glasses where they belonged.

“Thanks.” She stated, copying all she had written and pasted it on the page. “I think you just helped me.”

“At your service.” Vault smiled, seeing next group of people coming to her place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Well, I wouldn't say that the action is going, but we're almost there.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos you've left!
> 
> Take care, and until Tuesday!


	13. The beginning

Waking up was always the thing that she didn’t like to do. Being such a sleepyhead she considered herself for, was always giving her huge problems. Sometimes they were because of her family, just calling her from downstairs, trying to get to know if she was actually there, still sleeping or not, or if she was okay, if the time was actually really, really late. But the thing that was making her angry the most was actually the fact that she wanted to snarl at herself for wasting the time she could have spent on something else. Sketching, reading, no matter what. But actually she was sleeping past that. And the problem was that she had not much strength lately.

The situation with Hope was still lingering on her. She had been through so much, yet she had been diminishing that a lot, especially when she was around people who knew. That, of course, was making them upset and concerned about her, but the point was that everyone at that point was actually on the position, ready to protect her from everything in this world. And Clarke knew that she was okay on her own. Yes, memories were painful and sometimes were striking harder than she had expected. Of course, it was not nice to be oppressed by the demons of the past; Hope wasn’t a really nice person herself, for sure she had some sort of mental condition, but her unwillingness to take care about that, and, at the same moment, ability to manipulate and hurt people she had claimed she cared about was making Clarke feel pity. And, of course, she was just feeling bad.

“You okay?” she heard Harper’s voice and she sighed. Well, it was already around noon or so, so she wasn’t really surprised about that. They were concerned about her. Even though the last encounter with Hope had place around three months before, they still knew that she was living in the neighborhood. That was somehow concerning for her family, and a bit scary for herself.

“Yeah, why?” Clarke stretched in her bed, and then she felt the warmth and a very good feeling in her whole body, so she just closed her eyes and lazily smiled.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door clicked and Harper entered, closing them behind her. She glanced at her sister and smiled a bit, seeing her smiling. That was really rare view at that time. She sat by the edge of her bed and she poked her playfully.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, and Clarke shrugged.

“I guess I’m okay. I am sorry for sleeping so long, I…”

“Hey, easy, mom is not here, she wouldn’t scowl you.” Harper winked, and her sister gave her a side glance.

“So you’re here to do that instead?” she asked, but she got the shake of the head.

“No, not at all. Oh, you started sketching again?” she noticed the sketch with Mercy and a pile of scrap metal that was supposed to be Pharah in the fanfic. “Why like that…?” Harper seemed concerned. “You’re sure you’re…”

“Yeah, it’s just… it’s just about the piece I’ve read on the web, Harp.” Clarke opened the webpage and showed the title to her sister. “See? It’s nothing in my head, seriously.”

“Okay, I believe you.” Her sister nodded and poked her again. “Remember about your doc’s appointment today, okay?”

“Sure.” Clarke nodded as well, and Harper decided to leave the room after telling the blonde that she would prepare the breakfast.

And when Clarke glanced back at her phone, she noticed that there was actually one chapter more than she had read.

* * *

“Jesus fucking Christ.” She groaned, opening her eyes. The sun was getting inside the room through a small hole between her blinds. Lexa felt it burning. She had drunk a lot the day before, yet that was the weird thing that everyone was pretty much envying her – she had never had a hangover. Not in the slightest, at least not in the way of a huge headache. All that was telling her that she had been drinking the whole night before was the enormous thirst. Her mouth was dry as a desert and all Lexa had in her room was actually a bottle of rum. And that wasn’t the best choice, especially considering that it was around nine in the morning. She couldn’t drink that early. Fine, her record was actually to start drinking right after waking up at five in the morning, but nobody needed to know that. Also, that wasn’t very well seen.

As if she was concerned about what people might say. Well, Lincoln had already tried to tell her that she can turn into an alcoholic at some point because of her tendencies of just going for poor coping mechanisms, but she wasn’t really concerned about his words. He was just her friend, not really her father. But she still knew that she shouldn’t be drinking that early.

Especially when she was drinking hard the night before.

She stretched a bit and she looked at the screen of her phone. She stiffened when she realized that there was a notification from her fanfiction. Somebody left a comment there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being there, for all your kudos. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday.


	14. Rumination

The window was ajar and Lexa just looked around. It wasn’t her first time, but it was always the same way. She needed to make sure that no one was there, lurking in the shadows or just waiting for her to make a mistake. There was no alarm, there never was. She just needed to get inside, without anyone. There was nothing that should make her feel the urge to get inside and just let her feelings go outside, but what happened made her pretty much feel like shit.

She got the notification about a comment under her work. It looked legitimate and she was really happy to see that there was actually someone, as Vault had said the other day, that was reading her work and that decided to leave the comment. So Lexa, however a bit shaky and with her heart hammering, because she was nervous that the comment could not actually be very nice, opened her account and tried to find it under the text. And she happened to find nothing. The comment had been deleted, and that had to be done either by moderators, or the author themselves. But there was nothing. So that was pretty much almost obvious that the comment couldn’t have good content. And Lexa felt the sting.

She touched the window’s frame and managed to get her wrist between it and the wall. She got two threads on the knob, one of them she took out by the upper side of the window, pulling it to herself, the other one she managed to tie tight and take it by the other side of the window. She pulled them, closing the window, and then she pulled the one that was on the other side, taking the knob to the perpendicular position towards the frame itself. She then pushed the window and nodded. It was wide open.

Without hesitation she jumped on the windowsill and then she landed inside the room. It was not actually a very commonly used room, but she knew that being careful was something that was always saving her life. She didn’t want to risk it, so she just closed the window, leaving it exactly the same way as she spotted it. Then she decided to carry on.

She opened the door quickly and looked outside to inspect if there was someone or not. The corridor was empty and she sighed. That meant nobody was there, at the university. Well, not that was surprising for her, of course, she had actually counted that she would be there alone. As she had always been in the rare moments of her escapades there.

Lexa was trying not to make any noise and she managed to succeed on that. Her steps were very quiet, and she was calm enough for her breath not to be hearable. She reached the theatre room and she smiled. The piano was on the stage, as it always had been. She was standing in the highest point of the auditorium, perfectly seeing the instrument, even though it was actually pretty dark. She started walking on the rugged path between two halves of the room, her hands casually in her pockets, the hood still on her head. She had always felt safer in that configuration.

The last steps were actually pretty loud in comparison to previous ones, simply because bare planks of the stage stairs were not merciful at all. But that was okay since Lexa knew that she was alone there.

She sat by the piano and opened the cover, seeing all the keys, lighting the small lamp that was there. She sighed and glanced at the window.

“Jesus fucking Christ, that’s so melodramatic of you, Woods.” She shook her head, taking her hood off. “You didn’t get rejected trying to hit on somebody, you haven’t been deceived or anything like that, stop making a damn drama out of nothing.” Her voice was quiet, yet angry. She was actually angry at herself. Her fingers landed on the keyboard. “It was just a comment. Just…” she pressed. “…a…” she pressed again. “…comment.” She started pressing the keys, trying not to dwell on the thing that had made her feel very uncomfortable and self–conscious.

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy… I need somebody to heal, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold. It's easy to say but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved…_

Even though she had known that it was too melodramatic even for her gay ass, she couldn’t help but feel the way she was feeling. Like her work was not enough for that person to leave the comment there. Maybe it was actually bad to read and that person wanted to leave feedback that wasn’t nice, and they just decided, after posting, that it wouldn’t be that well seen, so they just deleted it?

She really felt confused and self–conscious. She knew that she didn’t have any sort of atelier, not to mention that to be good. She was giving away all she had, all she was able to give, in the story, trying to make it bearable or even better than only that. And that disappearing comment actually made her think that she had done something wrong.

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you. Now, I need somebody to know, somebody to heal, somebody to have, just to know how it feels. It's easy to say but it's never the same, I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape… Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. _

Her fingers were pushing the keys almost automatically. Lexa tried not to think too much. She knew that she had the tendency to do so, and the overthinking she was always doing was leading her nowhere. But even with that knowledge, she was aware that there were precisely zero chances for her not to overthink or overinterpret stuff. She was looking and behaving so laid back, but when the time had come to take down all the masks she had been wearing for so long, she was actually a pretty scared, insecure and sometimes worrying animal. She shook her head. That was too much of an overreaction to just one deleted comment, and she knew that.

_And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes, I fall into your arms, I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around. For now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. But now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved…_

She pressed the keys for the last time, sighing deeply, thinking about what the hell was happening to her. After breaking with Costia, she started being kind of an emotional bitch. And she didn’t like that in her. She felt like she had to do something about that, in another case every situation similar to that would actually make her think that she was doing something wrong… even if she didn’t, after all.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, miss Woods.” She heard from the first row of the auditorium, and her back froze for a solid minute before she was able to look at the person that was speaking. She was sure that she was alone in the whole building. But well, after all, it was better to encounter that person she did, than any other.

“Mrs. Porter.” She swallowed hard, looking at her professor that stood up and made a few steps towards the stage, so Lexa could see her better. “What… what are you doing here at this insane hour, ma’am?”

“Oh, I can ask you the same question.” She smiled a bit, so Lexa knew that she wasn’t in that much trouble as she thought she would be. “However it’s really intriguing why I’m seeing you here more frequently than in my class.”

“I…” the brunette sighed, and she shook her head. Lying was pointless. “I am sorry.”

“I appreciate the fact that you’re not trying to deceive me, miss Woods, but dodging the answer is not a particularly polite way to answer to your professor when she’s asking you about your absences.” Mrs. Porter didn’t seem to want to let it go, so Lexa just shrugged, fixing her eyes on the keyboard. She started to trace the edges of the keys.

“I just… I don’t know, ma’am.” She stated after a while when the prof sat on the stage stairs. She didn’t want to disturb the personal, safe bubble of her student. She had known that there were people that actually didn’t feel comfortable with closeness, and being close with a teacher was even worse, so she stayed where she was, yet closer to Lexa anyway. She was observing, not talking, not saying a thing. She thought that maybe Lexa would say something more. And she wasn’t mistaken. “I just don’t feel like going to the uni anymore.”

“Why is that?” the question was actually made out of pure curiosity. “You have always been a person that was kind of fixed on the goal of education. Is that because of your recent personal situation?”

_Personal situation_, Lexa snorted in her head. _Sure, let’s use euphemisms, everyone would be feeling better because of that._

“Yeah, you can say so.” She shrugged again. Mr. Porter saw that the conversation was going to die, so she decided to approach from another angle. She had known that Lexa was quite a skilled student, yet lazy one and maybe not much determined. She needed a stimulant that would help her get the strength to work again. She had been already at some conferences and her teacher knew that Lexa was good. And she knew that this kind of student wasn’t spotted so often.

“Why such a painful choice?” she asked, pointing at the piano, so Lexa knew she was talking about her playing and the song. “Broken heart is not letting you rest?” she had observed before that her student was feeling kind of comfortable around her, so she decided to ask about that.

And Lexa shook her head. In fact, she felt good talking to Mrs. Porter. And she didn’t feel ashamed to tell her about what she was experiencing. Maybe she would be able to help? Lexa didn’t really think that Vault would have anything more than just a _you need to stop ruminating about something you don’t know for sure_, stuff. The brunette may not know the bartender well, but she seemed to be quite zero–one type of person. Very binary.

“It’s actually very weird thing, ma’am.” She stated, sighing. She turned on the chair and glanced at her teacher. “I got a comment, and…”

“It wasn’t good?”

“It was deleted. I don’t know who did that, if that was the author themselves or just moderators, but either way it seems like it wasn’t good at all.”

“But you don’t have the certainty, Lexa.” The professor said, and that made the brunette look at her. “You don’t have the proof to suspect such a thing, and yet you do. Is that your first work published out there?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Lexa nodded, and Mrs. Porter smiled.

“That’s understandable then.” She nodded. “It’s like your first child. You need to get a bit of the distance to it, you know? It’s always hard, but then you’ll see that this child will start to make it on its own.”

“What do you mean?” the brunette raised her eyebrow, and the professor smiled a bit wider.

“You’ll encounter a lot of people on your way. Some of them would be nice, and smiling, and always supporting. But some of them would be mean and rude even. The point is to know why they are the way they are. Some of them would be just jealous about your atelier. Some of them would be just mean because of their attitude. And some of them would leave constructive criticism that you can learn from. And if they just deleted the comment, well, there is no point in ruminating about something you have no idea about.”

“Thank you.” Lexa nodded, smiling a bit. Talking with her professor was actually really easing in terms of her mind. Maybe even a bit more than the alcohol. “I… I guess that was something that I needed to hear from someone else than a bartender.”

“Nothing to thank me for. And that’s always nice to listen to the students that are fulfilling their dreams or making their way with music or something… but that doesn’t mean they should do that by committing the breaking in, does it?”

“I…”

“You won’t tell me that you get here by the door.” The teacher smiled, and Lexa sighed.

“No, ma’am.”

“I don’t want to know where is your spot to get in or out. I will have to report that and I am not really keen on doing so. Just promise me you’ll try to cut those escapades off.”

“How can you…?”

“I am the last person leaving this building since I can remember.” She smiled. “And believe me, I’ve seen you here so many times that I thought that you’d actually like to replace me at some point.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Lexa smiled, and her professor did the same.

“Good. And now we walk out of here, miss Woods. Using the door.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that one. That was kinda a nice one to write, actually. :)
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments you've left!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	15. The road

_I. Am. The. Worst._ Clarke thought, looking at the page with fanfiction. She posted the comment and then she just deleted it. She felt the urge to post it, so she did, and then actually she thought that it was pointless. She wouldn’t be seen anyway, so what was the point in expressing her thoughts? Even if she liked the work a lot, that wasn’t really giving anything to the author. She was actually pretty sure that nobody would even pay attention that they got a comment. At least that was always with her, she had always disappeared into the white noise of the inbox, so she just stopped commenting. _What did I even think?_

She shrugged, covering her face with her hands, tossing her phone aside. That was a good day because the story was updated but besides that? Nothing really. She was feeling dull as she was before, and at that moment even more since she was mentally slapping herself for being naïve, but anyways she was kinda happy since she did something with that before she even had the chance to feel ignored.

_Well, you can’t be ignored if you’re not there_, she snorted bitterly, rolling her eyes. That wasn’t the day for self–conscious ruminations, she needed to do something with herself. And that was actually the moment that she had to get up and finally get to the doctor's appointment she had planned for some time by then. With a heavy sigh, Clarke got up and started dressing up.

* * *

**Bullets were flying everywhere, she was hearing the explosions and screams, but that wasn’t the thing that was supposed to be something she was paying attention to. She needed to find Tracer ASAP and that was not a joke. Ziegler was slapping herself internally, knowing that there were too much things that could have gone wrong. She didn’t want to believe in them not having any heavy proof, but that was still the reality. Tracer had never teleport with someone else stuck to her more or less, so that was actually a problem. Pharah was in a very poor condition and Angela was pretty much sure that if she had lost any part of her body because of teleport not working the way it should, she could not make it. And that was something that would be a nail to Zeigler’s coffin. Her career as a medic would be gone, her fears of being useless would be back hitting twice as hard when becoming a reality, and captain Amari would probably just blacklist her, not giving her any opportunity to redeem herself in the frontline anymore.**

**Not that Angela actually wanted to be on the field in the first place, but that could just not be mentioned. She was a medic, she was a born doctor, she needed to help. And if she was just thrown out of the militia after something like that, she would never find a job having the shadow of death over her. Nobody would let her get to the people again.**

**“Oi, Luv, you coming?” Tracer pretty much broke her spiral with her cheerful tone. “She’s not in a very good state, we need to hurry up. The helicopter is waiting.”**

**Ziegler turned around, trying not to show her that she was on the edge of panic.**

**“What happened? Where were you?”**

**“I teleported one section too far, but I managed to fix that.” She smiled, saluting. The medic rolled her eyes. “And now we really need to go.”**

**Angela followed her companion, falling into line with Oxton. “Were there any complications?”**

**“Not that I know of.” Tracer shook her head, pacing up her steps. “She is still barely alive, but there was no accidental loss of any of her limbs, tissue or any other molecules. I would know if they would.”**

**“How?”**

**“I am not asking you about your art, don’t ask me about mine.” Oxton wasn’t hostile, though Angela felt a bit of an aloof vibe, so she decided not to cross the boundaries. She didn’t have time to do that, the only thing that was important at the moment was Pharah’s life. And she knew that there was a chance to save it. She ran the last part of the distance and Tracer helped her lift Pharah, getting her into the helicopter. Angela was cursing herself and the militia not to have any stretcher there. They had to just pack the wounded on the seats. She sat on the floor, making a place for Tracer, but she shook her head and she smiled. “I am not going with you, doc. I’m needed here.”**

**“You were wounded a while ago, you can’t stay. You need to…”**

**“I will take care of myself.” She smiled. “In the worst scenario, you’ll have to patch me up at your place. Take care of yourself.”**

**“Tracer, for fuck’s sake!” Angela yelled, but Oxton just shut the door and she banged the metal for the pilot to know that they have to start. And they did immediately, not allowing Ziegler to get out and drag the stubborn agent back on deck. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She groaned, taking her halo out of her head and tossing it aside with an angry huff. She shook her head and huffed, then looked at Pharah, lying on the seats. She was heavily breathing, her wounds, dressed rough and ready, but she was still alive. Angela was sitting, almost without a movement, observing, ready to AED at any time. She couldn’t lose her, she needed to help her not only for herself to keep the place in the facility she had been new in, not only for captain Amari. She needed to help Pharah for Pharah herself. Bravery, skills and a vow made to protect were one thing, but that woman didn’t deserve to die at such a young age.**

**They had a long way to fly. Angela glanced at the warrior and she sighed, squeezing her forearm. “Hang in there, Pharah.”**

* * *

“Miss Woods, what is so interesting that you can’t give me five minutes of your attention?” Mrs. Porter’s voice finally pulled her out of her own world full of gunshots, propeller’s wheezing, and struggle. She raised her head from over her desk and glanced at her professor.

“I… I am sorry, ma’am.” She said. Well, that was the usual stuff, she had never been scowled for being too loud, it was always because she wasn’t really paying attention. But the problem was that she had the problem with keeping focused recently, and she had forgotten (again) that she should publish another part. And, to be honest, she didn’t even have it prepared. Feeling a flash of inspiration she just decided to go for it, and since it was easier to have it on her phone rather than on the sheet of paper… and then she got caught. Again.

“I think you should stay after the class for a moment, I would like to talk with you.” The teacher raised her eyebrow, but she wasn’t digging. At least not at that particular moment. “But for now I ask you at least for attention.”

Lexa didn’t say a word, she just nodded and locked her screen, hiding the device in her pocket. What else she had to lose?

*

“Miss Woods, I have to admit that I am kind of concerned about your behavior lately.” Mrs. Porter said when Lexa approached her desk after everyone else left the classroom. Echo gave her the sign that she would be waiting for her outside, and also slightly marked a punch, so the brunette was aware that she would probably want to go for sparring or something like that. That was hard to deny that she would actually really appreciate it. “You’ve lost your focus again. And you still didn’t make up for the previous absences.”

“I still don’t know what to do, ma’am.” She stated politely, though she had to contain the shrug. “Is there anything that you have in mind?”

“There, actually, is, indeed.” She thought for a moment and nodded. Lexa glanced at her hopefully, and the professor smiled. “A conference.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for this week. I hope that it is not that boring for you. Please, stay tuned! :)
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments you've left!
> 
> Take care and until tuesday!


	16. "What?!"

“Tell me, because I can’t really understand, how is that you always get caught during classes when you’re doing something on your phone or else, and you have never been caught during the exam? Is that some sort of strategy or…?” Echo glanced at her friend when the brunette left the classroom. Lexa shrugged, not really looking at her interlocutor.

“Yeah, a strategy of not cheating on exams.” She stated and Echo snorted.

“Oh, come on, you won’t tell me you have never cheated on the exam.” She glanced at her friend, and Lexa returned the glance but said nothing. That was enough for the speaker to actually realize that she was right and the brunette had never done that. “Oooh, sure, because you’re the good student.”

“No, I am not.” Lexa snorted. “I am actually quite the opposite, but thanks for believing in me.” They started walking towards the exit. People around them were loud and Lexa didn’t really like the ambiance, but she was sure that it would be less noisy when they were outside.

“Always.” Echo grinned, opening the door and keeping it open for a moment for Lexa to pass. The brunette nodded, and she closed the door behind her. “Okay, so tell me, what did she want from you? Some sort of essay? You have to do some shitty thing, like, I don’t know, write her that you won’t be using your phone during classes ever again, like, six hundred times?”

“No, she told me that I have to prepare a paper for the conference that’s coming.” Lexa sighed, when they started walking towards the gym Echo was always training in. She didn’t protest, she was actually quite happy that she would have a partner for the sparring. And, if she was lucky, maybe she would be able to convince Lexa to get there regularly. Brunette looked like she needed or would appreciate actually any sort of physical exercise.

“Okay, that’s weird. For just being silent and not paying attention during the class? I didn’t think that Mrs. Porter was that crazy.”

“Well, it was more for the absences I have because I was just ditching classes because of…”

“Costia, I know.” Echo sighed. “You know, I was telling you that she would bring nothing but trouble into your life, and what? It’s actually true. If she weren’t there, she wouldn’t break with you, you wouldn’t be in so much denial for so long, not doing anything, lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling and having only a bottle as a companion.” She didn’t sound angry at Lexa, she was pissed off at Costia. There was a time when the brunette had to convince her friend that murder is not really the was of rolling, and that was hard to accomplish. Luckily, she managed to actually make her believe in her words and Echo didn’t do anything stupid. With her character, Lexa wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t.

“Well, what’s done, is done, there’s no way back from that, Echo.” Lexa shrugged. “I don’t want to go back to her anymore, and I know that the decisions I’ve made, as for not coming back to the university when I should have, was a mistake. But well, I think I can make it. Every other class I can just go for consultations and pass it, of course, it will require time from me, a lot of learning, but there is nothing I can’t do.”

“Is that really so?” she glanced at her interlocutor, trying to find something that would tell her that the brunette was actually deep in her mind, trying to flashbang her. And even though there was nothing like that, Echo knew her for too long not to know that Lexa was actually pretty good in hiding stuff. Even from her.

“Don’t even start.” Lexa waved her hand and opened the door to the gym. Echo shook her head and followed her. “Okay, whatever, but dude, you sure you want to go to that conference? I mean, you have never…”

“Are you really that retarded?” the brunette smirked. “I have been on conferences before. Last year, like, twice?”

“As a speaker?” Echo raised her eyebrow and her interlocutor shook her head.

“No, as an organizer.” She shrugged. “But I don’t think that it would be relevant right now. Like, I will just get there, say what I have to say, and then just back off, giving the chance to other people to express scientifically, and everyone would just forget about what I said.”

“You’re really naïve person if you think other people would forget about you.” Echo smirked, making her way to the locker. “You know, you’re quite a character.”

“You mean?” Lexa opened her locker, looking at her interlocutor, and taking off her T-shirt to change it for the tank top.

“You don’t look like a scientist, Lex.” She snorted, changing. The brunette shut her locker, already in her shorts, looking at Echo.

“It’s because I am not one.” she shrugged again. “I am simply a shop assistant in the board game store. And I got some random gal’s phone number because I, apparently, know more about the game than her or her brother merged.”

“Wait a second, you got a PHONE NUMBER?” Echo stiffened for a moment, and she caught Lexa’s wrist not to let her go to the ring area. “And you didn’t tell me about that?”

“I’ve forgotten about that.” She stated. “Anyway, I am not really keen on using it, so well, does it really matter right now?”

“Of course it fucking does!” Echo rolled her eyes, making Lexa look at her. “Why don’t you at least try to meet with that girl?”

“Because I am an antisocial fucker, and I don’t really like people.” the brunette glared at her friend and yanked her arm to free it. She managed, and that allowed her to start walking to the ring area, and Echo ran after her. “Don’t give me speeches, I don’t really need’em.”

“Dude, you’re still haunted by Costia, you need to fucking stop.” She stated when they reached the ring, and Lexa just got inside. “Lexa!”

“I am trying to, okay? I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t feel like it. And even less some random person that just bought an expansion in the store I am working in.”

“She bought an expansion for the game you know. And that means that she may be just a good friend after all. What’s the problem to just try?” Echo’s voice was actually pretty begging. Lexa shook her head.

“I already have a good friend. I don’t need another one. Now, are you getting there, or…?”

“Oh, we have the leading dyke of our uni, I can see.” The one that entered the ring wasn’t Echo, but actually someone who Lexa recognized too well. Tall, supposedly handsome, and with a smug on his face.

“Finn Collins.” She squinted her eyes. “Good. At least I wouldn’t have to make my punches weaker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Well, it's nothing special, but I know that the story needs a bit to develop fully.
> 
> Thank you so much for kudos and comments!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	17. Deception

“Lexa, for fuck’s sake, no.” Echo groaned, looking at her friend. She knew that Finn was actually kind of an arch enemy for her friend, but she had also known that he was exercising every day. And that was making him a very dangerous opponent. Even if Lexa didn’t know that yet, she didn’t want to get into a fight with him.

The brunette, however, seemed not to be really keen on stepping back. She needed good stimulation, and Finn’s face was actually what she was looking for. She felt like she had been trying to contain her anger and emotions inside for too long, and even sparring with Echo wasn’t the thing that was able to release that all. Especially when Lexa knew that Echo was her friend and she didn’t want to harm her.

“She looks like she decided, Ice Queen.” Finn smirked, looking at her with something on his face that was making even Echo want to punch him so hard for him not to be able to get up again. “So let her take responsibility for her decisions.”

“I don’t even know why the fuck you’re behaving like that, Collins.” Echo tried to discharge the situation, but he just looked at her with boredom in his eyes.

“She is a dyke. And that’s not normal. I don’t want to see that at the university I am learning on since it’s supposed to pass our the real values. And the real value is a family, the normal, traditional family. A woman, a men, and their children.”

“I don’t even have a partner.” Lexa snarled, clenching her fists. That was pretty much something that she wasn’t really able to understand, like, ever, but she was aware that people like Finn were out there. He shrugged and snorted, looking at her with disgust and despise.

“That doesn’t matter now.” He stated. “There is a possibility that at some point you will. And that is unacceptable.”

Lexa didn’t feel in the mood to answer her opponent, but that decision was not really good to be made. Collins smirked mockingly and nodded, bursting into laughter.

“You don’t even have the balls to defend yourself.” He snorted.

“I am not a pussy to talk, I am waiting for you to get your shit together and finally get to the fight.” She snarled, and Finn’s face immediately changed. Echo made a step back, cursing internally; she knew that these words made the sparring inevitable. She was on Lexa’s side, with all her power, but for fuck’s sake, she knew that this whole situation wouldn’t really end up well.

Collins set his fists and he clenched his jaws. Before Lexa was able to react, the very first punch had landed on her face. It was strong and made her stumble, yet she regained her balance, making a few steps back. She was able to feel the blood in her mouth, but she wasn’t mad at Finn for that.

The punch was like a cold shower for her. Her thoughts immediately stopped being cloudy and she had finally started thinking clearly. She needed to defeat him, not be taken by the emotions and let him beat the shit out of her. She raised her hands to make a defense, and then she exhaled. That had to end at that moment.

Finn wanted to just make a strike, but Lexa was prepared for that. She dodged and before he was able to make any move, she threw a punch right into his abdomen. He jumped back, counting on her to just jump after him, but she didn’t really do that. She knew that if she followed his tactics and movements, she would just end up with a broken nose, and maybe even broken ribs. She didn’t want that, she didn’t even want him to have anything broken. Well, maybe apart from his ego.

He seemed a bit confused when he was seeing her almost dancing on the ring, but not really attacking. Anger on his face was higher and higher with every punch he was throwing that wasn’t reaching her body or that was just being blocked by her. Echo was surprised how deeply Lexa went into the fight and focus mode in her head. That was really impressive.

Finn got mad at the very moment when Lexa decided to dodge his last punch. The attack he attempted would have been able to be lethal if she wasn’t that aware of what he was planning to do. And then the Armageddon came.

She dodged, leaving him hanging for a moment, fuming with wrath. One very strong punch in his stomach again, she made him bend, but she knew that she couldn’t stop just there, she needed to be quick. So she was. Right straight to his chin made him straighten again, and then she had just jumped, getting her weight on her hands, took his neck between her knees and turned him around with such a force that he hit the ground with a loud thud. Echo made another step back, seeing that he tried to yank, but Lexa’s hold was actually too strong for him, and she caught herself on cheering her friend up internally but didn’t say a word since she had known that would turn around the stakes since she would probably make Lexa lose her focus. A moment after Woods made a lever with his hand and he tapped the ground three times, giving her the sign that he gave up. Lexa, as a fair player, just let him go, but that was actually a mistake.

In the moment he felt that her steely hold was releasing him, he used his force to turn around and push her off of him. The dirty move he did, catching her ankle, not letting her stand, and at the moment he was able to, he had thrown a punch to her face. Leaving her on the floor, he straddled her, almost crushing her arms, to be sure she wouldn’t make any move with them, and then he started just beating her up. Echo was there in one jump, but she took a hit as well and she stumbled. Finn was furious. He was mumbling something about gay people, dykes and whores, but Lexa set her teeth, feeling the blood on her face and in her mouth, and then she just kicked Finn in the back with her knee. The hit was so strong, Collins’ back hearably cracked, and he stiffened for a moment. That was the perfect time to try to free her hands since his pushing wasn’t that hard at that moment.

The first punch into his face made him tilt, the second one, as she made him steady with a counterweight on her knee, gave him the full force of her punch. She twisted and then she threw the hook to his head, making him just hit the ground again. She stood up fast, too fast, so she lost her balance for a moment, getting dizzy when the blood rushed in her body, but she regained it again. Finn was lying on the floor, whining, and she was breathing heavily. Echo was right by her side, trying to see if she was okay, and in one piece.

“Yes, I am fine.” Lexa shrugged, wiping out the blood from the corner of her mouth with the upper side of her hand. “I hope he is too.”

“He just played dirty, IN A CLUB.” Echo shook her head. Everything was happening so fast that nobody was able to actually react, even though a second later one of the trainers there just appeared like out of nowhere, trying to make Finn useful enough to take him off of the ring. And probably to throw him out, banning eternally from that place. Hopefully.

“But he is still a human being, and as much as I despise him, I don’t want to be taken as a person who plays dirty, okay?” she glanced at her friend, and Echo sighed. She couldn’t be expecting anything else since that was actually the usual way her friend was rolling. She nodded, rolling her eyes, but there was nothing to be done, she had to accept the fact that it wouldn’t go another way. Echo caught Lexa’s arm and she stated: “Okay, now we’re getting to the med point, someone has to actually look at those wounds.”

“But…”

“No but. After all, we go for drinks, I am buying. But no alcohol if you don’t agree.”

“Fiiiine.” Lexa sighed, and she followed her friend. After all, she had a hard time to say _no_ to alcohol.

*

“That doesn’t look that bad when the blood is out, good.” She stated half an hour after when Lexa was almost done. The nurse in the med point wasn’t really amused by the fact that Lexa was looking like she was looking, but she was able to accept the fact that it wasn’t because she wanted to. Lexa refused to call the police and fill the complaint on Finn and what he had done, but, to be honest, her friend had thought about that. Well, it was actually a beating, it wasn’t a sport fight in any place after he gave up.

“Thank you.” Lexa rolled her eyes when the nurse stuck the last strip under her eye. The brunette had a few deep scratches here and there, her eye started turning black, some bruises were also there, but all in all, she was actually quite fine. Fortunately, her nose was in one piece, nothing was broken. “What are you doing?”

Echo turned around to her in a flash, dropping the item that Lexa wasn’t able to see. Well, maybe it was actually the time to finally get the glasses? “Nothing.” She said, shrugging. “Okay, so you have told me about the new bar you’ve discovered, right?”

Lexa frowned. She didn’t recall the moment in which she would tell her friend about something like that, but she wasn’t in the mood to drill.

“The Deep One.” She said, instead. At least she thought that it was the bar Echo was talking about. “You in? It’s a board games bar.”

“Yeah, why not?” she smiled, and Lexa rolled her eyes again. _I’m gonna pay for that look on her face._ She thought, being totally sure that it would actually end up like that. They thanked the nurse and they just went out, taking the direction to The Deep One.

*

In the exact moment they entered, Vault raised her head and she saw Lexa, greeting the customer with a smile. The brunette didn’t really pay attention to the surroundings, and she approached the bar.

“Everything’s all right?” the bartender asked, eyeing Lexa carefully. She wasn’t looking bad, but to the good look from what she had remembered she went a long road. The brunette sighed.

“Yeah, I was just MMAing too hard.” She shrugged. Well, she wasn’t the only one who was looking a bit differently. Vault herself, polishing the tankard at the moment, didn’t have the shirt or the fedora anymore. She had a normal T-shirt with the _Cthulhu spiced rum_ on it, black baggy jeans and red suspenders left loose on her sides. She was looking more like a punkish version of herself than the Lovecraftian bartender Lexa had remembered. “Can I have a drink?”

“Of course.” Vault smiled, putting the tankard aside. “How can I serve you today?”

“The Jewel of R’lyeh, please.” she stated. Vault didn’t wait, she took the glasses, and she started preparing the mixture.

“How is it going with your writing?” she asked at the moment she was filling the shot glasses with liquids. Lexa blinked several times, realizing that she was talking to her.

“Oh, I guess… good? Well, I had not experienced that much of a writer’s block last time.” she admitted, seeing how the bartender was pouring the energy drink to the higher glass. “Though I still have a pro…”

“What the hell, Lexa? You’re getting here with me and you’re just leaving me there?” Echo made her way to the bar, and she sat on the hoker, next to her friend.

“You’ve brought a friend, good!” Vault smiled, getting the glass on the napkin on the surface, sticking two filled shots between the upper edges of the glass, and pushing it to Lexa’s direction. “How can I help you today?”

“I had never heard about you making friends with bartenders, Woods.” Echo smiled a bit, taking a look at the menu. “Something you’d recommend?”

“I’d recommend actually everything because there is absolutely NO drink that is not good.” Vault said, grinning. “But I think if you’re friend with Lexa and if you come with her here today, that Sanity Potion could be the one you could use.”

“She’s good.” The auburn-haired said, nodding impressed. “Okay, bring it on.”

“Let me just have it.” Lexa smiled, and she pulled one of the shots, making the other dive into the liquid. The splash poured a bit on the napkin, but that was it was for. The brunette zeroed the shot she had in her hand, and then she zeroed the glass’ filling. “That was what I needed.”

“She’s wild.” Vault smiled, sliding the blue drink with ice in the shape of brains in Echo’s direction.

“Indeed.” She nodded, sipping the beverage. “I’m Echo by the way.”

“And there you are!” they have heard the voice that Lexa was familiar with, but she wasn’t really able to put it into the place. Whose voice was that…? She turned around, breaking the stream of thoughts about the next drink she should use, and she glanced at the voice’s owner. She stiffened.

“Octavia?” she asked, looking at Echo at the same moment, giving her the sign that they would have to talk. And that that talk wouldn’t be nice. “What are you doing here?”

“I am counting on good fun, I guess?” she said, sitting on the hoker on Lexa’s other side. She glanced at Vault and she smiled. “Hi, Vault.”

“Hi, Octavia.”

“You two know each other?” Lexa’s eyes widened.

“I am a bartender, sweetheart, I kind of know my customers.” Vault smiled back. “The usual?”

“The usual.” Octavia nodded, and they started chatting a bit, so Lexa was able to turn to Echo.

“What the hell is she doing here? I can smell the shit if there’s one. Talk.”

“I might or might not text her…”

“I will fucking kill you one day, Echo. I swear.” Lexa whispered harshly. “And you won’t know the day nor the hour.” She set her fists. “I need more alcohol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being here, leaving kudos and comments!
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	18. Unpleasantries

“Echo, can you accompany me to the restroom?” Lexa glanced at her friend when they were sitting by the bar, just talking with Octavia. The brunette, however, wasn’t really amused. Echo nodded, seeing that Lexa was looking pretty much almost hammered by then and that she could be able to hurt herself while walking there. She glanced at Octavia and excused them. O didn’t have a problem, she nodded with a wide smile and just started chatting with Vault that at that moment had a while of less heavy times in terms of serving the customers.

Lexa slid down from the hoker and Echo almost carried her to the restroom that was standing near the piano that was looking very old but well preserved. In the moment they closed the door behind them, and the brunette learned that nobody was in the room, her drunkness just evaporated. She straightened her back, looking at her friend without this hazy look in her eyes. Echo was impressed by her acting skills, she had to admit that Lexa was really good in that, but the fact that she did it wasn’t really promising.

“We need to talk, Echo.” She stated, crossing her arms on her chest. “And I want to know why the fuck did you do that.”

“What?”

“You texted her. You set this up. What for? Who has asked you for that, huh?”

“Lexa, for fuck’s sake, what are you talking about?”

“That.” The brunette took out her phone, unblocking the screen and showing it to her friend. Echo usually was really careful when she tried deceptions, and Lexa was aware of that. She also knew that being her, usually so scatterbrained when she was in a rush of writing or something, she needed a backup of everything. Every action was leaving a trace in her phone because sometimes she was getting inspiration by tracing her steps. And that was really useful, but her friend couldn’t have known that. So seeing that somebody opened the contacts app on her phone and then stayed there for a moment was just really fishy for her, since she vastly remembered that she didn’t do that. After getting Octavia's number into her contact list, she just left that unsupervised. She was not really getting to the list anyway.

The silence that had descended between them, charged with Lexa’s anger, was really uncomfortable for Echo. They both were able to hear _The Abyss_ by Three Days Grace that was playing in the bar. The brunette was waiting for her friend to say something. She saw that Echo was uncomfortable in the whole situation, but if she was uncomfy in that particular moment, what was left for Lexa? She trusted her and Echo just betrayed that trust. She locked the screen and shoved her phone into her back pocket, looking carefully at her friend. She was still waiting, and the silence was getting more and more heavier with every breath they were taking. Lexa could carry on with that for the rest of the evening, but Echo had finally broken.

“I am sorry. I just wanted to help.”

“By texting the person that I EXPLICITLY told you not to? That I am not interested?” Lexa frowned. “You know, I am not sure if that was the best thing to do.”

“Okay, maybe I made a mistake, but for fuck’s sake, you were always mourning Costia like she was still in your life, and she is not. Also, I don’t see that you’re not having a good time with Octavia, you know?” she eyed brunette, but she huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Dude, it was ten minutes ago when you were so surprised that I wasn’t almost hammered when we entered here.” Lexa snarked. “And the logical assumption on that one would actually be thinking that I am a good actress and that I could fake that all during the conversation.”

“For five hours?”

“I can fake for much longer, Echo.” Lexa stated with an unamused face. Her friend sighed.

“What do you want me to do then?” the Ice Queen asked and Lexa shrugged. “What, you want me to go to her and tell her that you were not having a good time and that she should go?”

“I don’t care what you’ll tell her. I am not going back there to pretend that I am having a good time, because okay, maybe she is nice, and I have nothing against her, but you forcing me into interactions is not something I enjoy taking part in, you hear me?”

“So?”

“You can get there, tell her I was too hammered to actually stay here, because I almost broke the toilet, and you had to call me a cab. And I don’t want to know what will be after, you got me? You can flirt with her, you can talk about shit, I don’t care. I just wanted to have a few drinks. And thanks to you, I won’t have more here, because you decided for me about the way I want to spend my evening in.” Lexa was almost raging, but Echo knew that any time sacrificed on waiting for her to start shouting and raging on was futile: the brunette never did that. She had the cold fury state as default, and that was a thousand times scarier than a death bloody rage itself.

“But…”

“Don’t.” Lexa cut the talk. “I don’t want to talk about her or with you right now. I am getting out of the bar, and what you’d do, it’s your problem. You can even tell her the truth.”

“She was quite happy when she asked if we’re gonna maybe play Arkham Horror finally, and I said that you can teach her. she really wanted to learn.”

“And maybe I don’t want to teach.” Lexa huffed, shrugging. “Anyway, sorry, I am out.”

And before Echo was able to say anything, the brunette stormed off the restroom, and then out of the bar. She took out her vaping pen and started it, then she inhaled a huge amount of vape and exhaled the cloud that surrounded her head with a thick mist. _Fuckers_., she thought.

She started walking, not really knowing where, but when she exhaled another cloud and got out of it, she saw a silhouette that looked familiar. She couldn’t place it from where, though.

“Lexa?” the voice, as well, was a bit familiar, but the brunette had the impression that she had not heard a lot of it. “You okay?”

She squinted her eyes, trying to recognize her. The person approached her, at that moment Lexa saw that she wasn’t alone, there was a German Shepherd by her side. She smiled, seeing the friendly muzzle.

“I am sorry, I…” she started when the dog sniffed her shoes and started waging its tail.

“I don’t think we were introduced to each other properly.” The woman smiled and she reached her hand. “I’m Vault’s wife. You can call me Oblivion.”

“Obli-” Lexa raised her eyebrow, but she shook her hand.

“Don’t ask.” Oblivion smiled, and the brunette sighed, nodding. “And I can tell that something’s wrong, can I ask what?”

“It’s just…” Lexa hesitated. Could she trust that woman?

“I’ll understand if you don’t, it’s okay. I would offer you a drink, but I can see that you just stormed off of the bar, did Vault say something offensive? She sometimes can be just crude and plain rude, but she’s a good person after all.” she smiled.

“Well, that’s why you married her, I guess?” Lexa smiled back, and Oblivion nodded, but then she rolled her eyes slightly. “What does that supposed to mean?”

“That sometimes even I wonder why I did that. But after all, I love her. And now, tell me, had she offended you? Because if so, I will have to take care of that.”

“No, she didn’t.” Lexa shook her head. Vault was nice to her and maybe she didn’t know her well, but she had the impression that the bartender wouldn’t mean to actually hurt her or something. She knelt by the dog and scratched it behind the ear. “What’s her name?”

“Alero.” Oblivion scratched the dog behind another ear. “But it’s getting colder, do you maybe want to get inside and talk?”

“I don’t want to go inside again. There are… people I don’t want to meet again today.” Lexa hesitated, but her companion smiled again.

“I wasn’t asking about the bar itself. We have a social room on the back… and I can tell you for the fact that you need to talk. So I am asking: do you want to?”

_She seems nice. And also she married Vault. That means that she can’t be bad._ Lexa thought though she had the impression that she shouldn’t be trusting people that easily. But, after all, she sighed and nodded. “Lead the way.”

So Oblivion did. Her and Alero showed her the way to the social room, let her in, and then the Deep One’s owner went outside again for a minute to leave the dog somewhere safe. And after five minutes, not even, she was back.

“Do you want tea? Coffee? Something stronger?” she asked.

“Tea, please. For now, I have enough alcohol. At least some people think so.”

“What happened?” after a while Oblivion put Lexa’s mug in front of her, and then to hers, sitting on the other side of the table. “And… what happened to your face?” there had to be a moment when she saw it, and in the darkness of the night and the dim lanterns’ light, it wasn’t that possible.

“Not much to say, to be honest.” The brunette sighed. “I recently broke up with my girlfriend and now I am single. I am working in the board games store and there is this gal that came around once. Octavia, she knows Vault, so I guess that you might know her too.”

Oblivion nodded, letting her interlocutor carry on, she sipped from the mug, waiting.

“And she was nice and all, she left me her phone number, but I am not interested in new friends even since I am still trying to get my life straight, you know. Like, I am totally not, but you get the idea. And I have a good friend, Echo, I brought her here today and we were talking, spending good time, and then Octavia just came around. I didn’t know what was going on till I noticed that Echo just stole the number from my phone. And I just felt betrayed, since when we were in the club, I told her about that situation with Octavia and told Echo that I don’t like the idea of meeting or something.”

“You’re still grieving after your ex-girlfriend, right?” Oblivion glanced at her with understanding and compassion in her eyes. “And that’s why your face looks like that?”

“No, it’s totally different story.” Lexa scoffed, sipping her tea. “A fucking homophobic brat decided to just play unfair during the kickboxing sparring. I won over him, but he played dirty and I landed on the planks getting beaten up. But I managed to take him down.”

“I am sorry.” The woman sighed, adjusting her glasses. Lexa glanced at her. _She’s really pretty_, she thought, _and so different than Vault_.

“How have you two met?” she asked suddenly, and her host glanced at her quizzically, but at the moment she noticed that Lexa was looking at her wedding band. She smiled softly and started rubbing the ring.

“Well, that’s quite a long story.” She stated. “Vault is a creator, and well, I am just an admirer.”

“You two met over her work…?”

“Yes.” Oblivion blushed. “But that’s not something that you want to talk about over a tea. That needs alcohol.”

“Sounds like something Vault would say.” Lexa snorted, so did her companion.

“Yeah, I guess after a few years you’re getting to the point that you sound like your wife.” Her soft smile, when she was talking about her wife, got Lexa’s heart melting.

“You’re together for a long time?”

“Five years after marriage.” Oblivion nodded. “And she still didn’t stop surprising me. But enough about me, tell me something about you. What do you do in your free time? Vault told me you’re writing?”

“Yeah, some fanfiction, no big deal.” Lexa shrugged. “I am just trying, but that shit is so hard sometimes.”

“Artists have a tough life.” she laughed. “But the main point is not to give up. And maybe there is somebody who would be an admirer too, you know?”

Lexa nodded, wondering about that. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to find anyone, but actually she was quite happy that she had people reading that fanfiction. She was receiving some kudos and all, so it wasn’t that nobody liked what she had created. And that was a good thing.

“I saw the piano in your bar.” She stated at some point, looking at her interlocutor. Oblivion nodded, sipping her tea. “Is it working? It looks like it’s old.”

“Because it is.” She smiled. “But it’s in good condition. Maybe it doesn’t look that well, but believe me, anyone who knows how to play, can do that. Vault is usually launching music through the speakers, and we’re not here long by now, so nobody actually decided to do so, but…”

“Can I… sometimes?” she asked, and Oblivion glanced at her with a wide smile.

“Of course.”

“How much have I pay you to sit there sometimes without customers around?”

“What?”

“I don’t like the audience. And I will understand if you tell me that you are not keen on letting strangers inside, and…”

“Hey, it’s okay.” The owner smiled. “I can talk to Vault about that, she is there usually till the very late night and sometimes in the mornings when she’s awake. And also she likes you, so I guess it wouldn’t be a problem… if you don’t mind us around.”

“I actually don’t have anything against you. Thank you for considering the request.” She smiled, looking into her mug. There were some sips left. She felt her phone buzzing, but she didn’t look who was that. She had the impression that she just made another pair of friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments you've left. I hope you don't hate me for the slow developing story.
> 
> Take care and until Tuesday!


	19. Non nocere

**“Good job, doctor, if you didn’t bring her now, she would’ve been dead.” said one of the surgeons that were stationed in the Overwatch facility. Angela sighed heavily, feeling the tiredness hitting her hard. The surgery was over, she was assisting the doctors since she wasn’t really sure if she was able to carry the whole procedure on her own. And if something went wrong, it would be her to talk to captain Amari and tell her that her daughter died as collateral damage. And that was something that Ziegler didn’t want to do, she wasn’t a suicide person.**

**She nodded, looking at the nurses transporting Pharah to the ICU. The doctor glanced at her with tired eyes. They have been in the surgery room for the past eight hours, there was nothing weird in that state. “You should take a rest, doctor.” He said, taking off his coat and throwing it to the laundry bin. “You need it.”**

**“I don’t want to leave her. What if something happens when I’m not here?”**

**“You won’t be able to help her either if you’re exhausted. And you’ve been in the field for a long time. If you insist that you don’t need sleep, you could use a shower, don’t you think?” he glanced at her again, laying his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it reassuringly. “Doctor, we all have the _primum: non nocere_ rule carved in our minds. But you can’t follow it when you are not fully operational. And the shower can make you feel better.”**

**She nodded, feeling that it was pretty logical what he was saying. She nodded again, deciding that quick shower and a mug of coffee can actually make her feel better. And then she can go to Pharah and monitor her vitals. The next few hours after the surgery would be crucial for her.**

**Angela followed her colleague, and then they separated their ways when they reached the residential wing. She entered her room and locked the door, and then, without hesitation and even without a single thought about doing something else before, she headed to the bathroom.**

**Seeing herself in the mirror wasn’t the nicest thing she could actually do. A lot of dirt that had been stuck to her face right after the field mission, that she had covered with the mask and the rest of the surgery gear. Bruises, scratches, and all of that, and it was visible only on her face. With a heavy sigh, she took off her field gear, leaving it on the mannequin, knowing that there would be a moment when she would be forced to clean it. And she was also aware that polishing it afterward would bring the ease of her mind.**

**She entered the shower room and opened the faucet, greeting the stream of warm water with a sigh of delight. She took the soap and started taking off the dirt and sweat that had got stuck to her skin. As she had been proceeding, she was seeing more and more bruises all over her body. She shook her head, thinking about Tracer. Angela wondered how Oxton was doing, but she thought that maybe as long as she wasn’t hearing about her, there was no issue. And she wanted to believe that.**

**Twenty minutes later she put on her turtle‑neck, jeans and she took one of the fresh med coats she had in her wardrobe. Then she opened the door, straightened her back, and made her way back to the med wing, buying a coffee on the go. She approached one of the nurses that were in the main social room.**

**“How is Pharah?” she asked, and the nurse smiled at her.**

**“She’s stable, doctor. No signs of complications so far, so I think there wouldn’t be any need for you to stay overnight. Of course, if you want to check on her, she’s lying in the room 7.”**

**Angela nodded, smiling sadly, and getting out of the room, heading to the 7. She entered and stood by Pharah’s bed, observing the machines and reading her parameters.**

**She would prefer to meet that woman in person in more pleasant circumstances that she had the opportunity to encounter. Angela had heard a lot about Amari’s daughter, she was very good on the battlefield, sophisticated strategist and rocket enthusiast. Servant for justice and devoted soldier. She was greatly trained, knowing what she wanted to do in her life. And she was taking her people’s lives over her own. One mistake because of them and she could die because of Roadhog. That was a sacrifice that Angela knew that she wouldn’t even take into consideration. And Pharah decided to do it without hesitation.**

**“I have no idea what the hell were you thinking, Amari.” Ziegler shook her head, looking at Pharah’s chest wrapped in bandages, rising and falling slowly in the rhythm of her breathing. At least she was breathing. A lot of bruises were visible on her tanned skin, yet she was looking a bit better than when they had to clear the debris of her Raptora away. Ziegler was pretty sure that Amari wouldn’t be happy when she’d learn about what had happened to her armor, but that was the collateral damage. Saving it wasn’t the possibility anyway, so the soldier would have to understand it.**

**“Why the hell you decided to confront the Roadhog anyway?” Ziegler sighed, laying her hand on Pharah’s shoulder and staring at the heart monitor.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I kind of missed the fanfiction itself. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Take care, until Tuesday!


	20. Argument

_If they find out you're the villain so what? Serves you right, serves you right. You only play the hero for the attention, 'cause it's serves you right. Does it serve you right? When your darkness comes to light, 'cause you've told one too many lies, the truth won't hide. It'll serve you right._

She had heard a loud knocking to her room’s door, but she tried to ignore it. This song was too good to anyone to cut it. The knocking repeated more violently, but the only thing she did, was to volume it up. She wasn’t harming anybody or anything but her own ears, she had headset on and the music was barely hearable outside. And after what she did, the knocking was barely hearable. Also, she wasn’t even singing (which, by the way, was quite hard to achieve with that particular song lately), so nobody could possibly have any problems with her. She looked at the bottle she had in her hand, and then she just shrugged, and then chugged what she had inside. Rum was always her best friend.

“Lexa, for fuck’s sake!” she had heard finally when the song was about to end and change into other. The voice wasn’t Lincoln’s. It was way too girly.

“What the fu-” she started, but the person outside apparently decided they had had enough waiting, and they barged in, not paying attention that the door could break something inside the room. She didn’t get out for some days by then. Lincoln was used to it, so at some point he just lost the interest. She had snacks inside the room, so she didn’t need to go outside. Well, maybe twice or thrice, just for the bathroom. But she wasn’t really keen on doing that, especially when she wasn’t working. It was the middle of the week, and she was, besides ditching the classes, drinking almost all days. Trying not to get into the vicious cycle of alcoholism, sleep, and being sorry for herself. “Echo?”

Her surprise was also a surprise for her guest. She wasn’t ready to see Lexa in the state she had the opportunity to. The brunette sighed, shaking her head, trying not to try to kill her friend. She slid her headset out of her ears, letting it rest on her neck.

“Lexa, what the fuck?” she pointed at the mess Lexa had around, also, she seemed to be a bit disgusted by the fact that her friend was holding the bottle so tight that it was surprising that the glass itself hadn’t break yet. “You’re not giving a single sign of being alive, what the hell is going on with you?”

“Nothing.” The brunette shrugged, chugging another amount of alcohol straight from the bottle. She didn’t feel drunk enough for that conversation. “Actually, it’s kind of not your business.”

“It is my business as long as you are my friend.” Echo, not giving a fuck about obvious signs Lexa was giving her, stepped ahead and closed the door, cutting Lincoln out of potential brawl that he might have been able to see. “And as far as I am concerned, you’re still one.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” The brunette snorted, looking at her guest with anger. She had drunk enough not to be sober, but that amount wasn’t enough to make her hammered. Her emotions were like a pendulum and Echo was aware of that. Talking to Lexa in that state was pretty much trying to run through the minefield, praying for nothing to blow out. But she had to take the risk.

“What the hell got into you?” she asked, looking at the host, trying to smell danger, but it was pretty much like carbon monoxide – without smell, without color. “You got out of the bar like that, you didn’t give a sign after, I was trying to contact you and you just ghosted me. I am asking: what the fuck?”

“Didn’t you think that maybe I wasn’t replying because I didn’t want to talk to you?” she asked almost indifferently, looking at Echo with eyes that were far from indifference.

“You’re drinking again. In a moment you will be an alcoholic. You need to get out of the shit Costia had gotten you into, and bunkering yourself here wouldn’t make it any easier to fight.”

“And who the fuck said I want to fight it on your conditions?” Lexa squinted her eyes, making Echo step back, setting her teeth. “I have always had my own rules and ways, maybe you will let me do it by myself.”

“You are failing, Lexa.” Echo sighed, stepping ahead again. She decided to face this shit head-on, if Lexa wanted to pick up a fight, they had both been training. They both knew how to fight, and Echo had the advantage of being more regular in that, so she had the glimmer of hope than maybe, just maybe, she would not die if Lexa would attack her in the rage. “Let me help you.”

“You’re not my mother. And I am not a child that needs guidance. Neither do I need the fucking socializing with people you think are suitable for me.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” the guest stepped ahead once again. She approached Lexa’s bed enough to have her for the reaching of her hand. If she only let her…

“Yes, I do. And I think that you didn’t hear about something that is called my decisions. Even if you think they are shit, they’re still my shit. Get out.”

“No.”

“I said: get. out.” Lexa wasn’t joking, but neither was Echo. She needed to talk some sense into her friend, she knew that letting her hit the rock bottom wasn’t the thing that she wanted to do. Lexa was her friend no matter what. And she had known that the brunette was bonkers from time to time. That was why they were friends in the first place.

“I said: no.” she bent her knees a bit, trying to get ready for what could happen. Surprisingly, Lexa’s place wasn’t that messy; she had room to brawl. And Echo knew that she would be able to use that.

Lexa stood up, leaving the bottle on the floor. She glanced at Echo again, her eyes steelish, her teeth set. She straightened her back, making her spine pop all along it. She squinted her eyes. Their faces were so close that half a step was sufficient to make their noses bump. Echo didn’t step back.

“I warned you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for a long time in between the chapters. I had a lot going on in my life, and I don't know if I will be able to post regularly (at least not in next few months), because it's still spinning fast, but I will do whatever I can to give you some more not forcing you to wait so long. Thanks for all that decided to stay. It really means a lot.
> 
> Take care, until next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for being here. If you liked it, please, leave kudos, comments, so I know what to improve and what is okay. I hope you're enjoying the ride.


End file.
